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Re: Smog Tests

To: british-cars@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: Smog Tests
From: acg@hermes.dlogics.com
Date: Fri, 17 Jul 1992 10:10:51 CDT
Clay Robinson <crobinso@sesky4102b.pl.osd.mil> writes:
>     Basic emissions tests will be for cars that go back to '68 and the
> new tests with dynomometer type set--up will be for cars 1983 and later.
> Owners will be able to obtain a waiver, but only after they have paid
> the friendly local mechanic $450 in repairs.

Now, I touched on this in a joking way yesterday, with rocketing Rabbits
plunging through walls and so on, but realistically, I don't see how you
can get contraptions like dynamometers testing cars of the general public
in any kind of efficient or reliable manner.

First of all, you have to line up a whole bunch of people who are competent
and intelligent enough to operate the dynamometers safely and consistently
with all kinds of cars, day in and day out, at what I'll bet is the minimum
wage barely paid by the state. With the sniffer tests alone, we're inundated
with stories about how a new car flunks in test lane 1, then passes with
flying colors in test lane 2. An irate Letter to the Editor recently berated
one testing station that accused a Honda owner of removing his converter (it
is actually up in the engine compartment on that model), then refused to
pass the car and ignored the protests of a local Honda dealer brought in to
point out their mistake. Last we heard, the poor guy was trying to keep his
Driver's License, which was going to be yanked for "noncompliance" and failure
to "repair" the car.

Secondly, I'm not thoroughly familiar with dynamometers, but it seems to me
that you're going to need quite a fancy one to deal with all the physical
variations of cars (big, small, FWD, RWD, AWD, etc.) that will come in. In
densely populated areas, you'll need A LOT at each station, since your testing
time is probably going to be a darn sight higher than three minutes, which is
already enough at the drive-through sniffer stations to cause backups down the
street at some locations.

Finally, you'll have a quick surge in liablility lawsuits from irate owners
whose cars broke down under the load of testing while in the "care" of the
test station employee who drove it in and floored the pedal. Most likely
the employee won't have done anything wrong, but it will probably take a
few lawyers to sort that out.  ;-)

All in all, it just doesn't look like the sort of relatively simple operation
that can be mastered by the government and comprehended by the public. I may
be wrong, I WISH I was wrong, but I have lived in Chicago for too many years
to be as naive as our representatives in Washington seem to be.

Andrew C. Green
Datalogics, Inc.      Internet: acg@dlogics.com
441 W. Huron          UUCP: ..!uunet!dlogics!acg
Chicago, IL  60610    FAX: (312) 266-4473


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