triumphs
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Re: What's wrong with this picture? (crass and mean-spirited)

To: Triumph <Triumph@sfbayguardian.com>
Subject: Re: What's wrong with this picture? (crass and mean-spirited)
From: Spitfire 1500 <spitfire1500@named.dalton.net>
Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 08:38:37 -0500
Cc: triumphs@Autox.Team.Net
Organization: http://member.dalton.net/~spitfire1500
References: <4888852.ensmtp@sfbayguardian.com>
Triumph wrote:
> 
> 
> Now try to get laid because you drivin' the Caravan.  I don't think so
> hombres.
> 

It would be ALOT easier in a Caravan....

> 
> The typical TR6 driver posseses the following attributes:
> *  Chicks generally dig them.

Yes, they LOVE sportscars.

> *  They are well educated, thinking human beings more prone to fixing a
> problem themselves than to driving the problem down to the Dodge dealership
> and saying "umm, I'm not sure whats wrong(up ending) but its making this
> "wicky ticky wicky ticky sound(up ending) "

I wouldn't drive down to the Dodge dealership.  I don't have a Dodge,
but I do have Ford, so I would take my NEW one down to the Ford
dealership for WARRANTY repairs.

> *  Is least likely among all drivers to purchase aftermarket wings.

I do purchase aftermarket wings, but not for vintage tin.

> *  Sends Christmas cards to their mechanics.

I am my own mechanic, so what's the point of sending myself a Christmas
card?

> *  Is least likely among all drivers to ever pull into a Dodge dealership

'cept maybe to buy a Dodge Viper!

> 
> Further examinations reveal these traits of the typical Dodge Caravan driver:
> *  Not one has ever made the Caravan cover the quarter mile in anywhere near
> 17.6 seconds.

Don't think so, my friend has an older Caravan with a turbocharged four
cylinder.  It gets down the 1/4 mile in less than fifteen seconds!

> *  9 out of 9 Caravan drivers could tell you how to get melted gummi bears out
> of the upholstery.

I don't drive a Caravan, but I do know how to get melted gummi bears out
of upholstery.

> *  9 out of nine havent been laid during the duration of ownership of their
> vehicles.
> *  Caravan Drivers couldnt identify the TR6 in a lineup.

Don't know about the last two...

Ron N.
Dalton, Ga
http://member.dalton.net/~spitfire1500
77 Spitfire 1500 - with a decklid spoiler
62? Vitesse/Sports 6 convertible - with Supra style spoiler
92 Ford Tempo GLS V6  - with an M3 style spoiler


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