On Sun, 16 Mar 1997, Chris Prugh wrote:
>
> By the way, what can my Saturn wagon turn the quarter in?
>
> Chris Prugh
> 72 Spitfar
>
Is this in reference to the turning circle of the saturn?? A quarter of a
mile is a long way round......
Johnny Storm
'77 Spitfire 1500
> ----------
> From: Triumph[SMTP:Triumph@sfbayguardian.com]
> Sent: Sunday, March 16, 1997 10:45 AM
> To: triumphs@autox.team.net
> Subject: Re: What's wrong with this picture? (crass and mean-spirited)
>
> >According to Grassroots Motorsports magazine (Mar/Apr '97):
> >
> >"To give you and idea of how quickly some cars can cover the
> >quarter-mile,
> >here are some approximate times for several popular production cars:
> >
> >1988 Porsche 959 ................ 12.0 sec
> >1989 Corvette ZR-1 ............... 13.4 sec
> >1997 BMW M3 (3.2L) ........... 14.3 sec
> >1970 Porsche 911S .............. 14.9 sec
> >1983 Porsche 944 ............... 16.2 sec
> >1971 Datsun 240Z ............... 17.1 sec
> >1997 Dodge Grand Caravan.... 17.6 sec
> >1973 Triumph TR6 ................ 18.2 sec
> >1967 Triumph Spitfire (1300)... 19.3 sec
> >1949 MG TC ........................ 22.2 sec
> >(times from manufacturers or published road tests)"
>
>
> Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
>
> Now try to get laid because you drivin' the Caravan. I don't think so
> hombres.
>
> Take heart in the test of tests, that measure of all things cool or crap,
> that benchmark of the successful design...yes Steve the test results are in
> and the data reveals that chicks in fact DO DIG the small, throaty sounding,
> road sucking, wood detailed (no simulated woodgrain here my friend), Large
> tire'd, foreign,Quirky, tempermental, yellow, sports ride 127,000 to one (Anne
> Marie, curiously) among chicks who actually have preference for cars.+
>
> In further examinations of the data it has been revealed that:
>
> The typical TR6 driver posseses the following attributes:
> * Chicks generally dig them.
> * They are well educated, thinking human beings more prone to fixing a
> problem themselves than to driving the problem down to the Dodge dealership
> and saying "umm, I'm not sure whats wrong(up ending) but its making this
> "wicky ticky wicky ticky sound(up ending) "
> * Is least likely among all drivers to purchase aftermarket wings.
> * Sends Christmas cards to their mechanics.
> * Is least likely among all drivers to ever pull into a Dodge dealership
>
> Further examinations reveal these traits of the typical Dodge Caravan driver:
> * Not one has ever made the Caravan cover the quarter mile in anywhere near
> 17.6 seconds.
> * 9 out of 9 Caravan drivers could tell you how to get melted gummi bears out
> of the upholstery.
> * 9 out of nine havent been laid during the duration of ownership of their
> vehicles.
> * Caravan Drivers couldnt identify the TR6 in a lineup.
>
>
> +Data copiled from a random sampling of chicks in each of the lower 48 states
> excluding girlfriends of Camaro, Firebird, BMW 320, 318, &325i, Acura and any
> small Japanese cars with wing surface area accountng for more than76% of the
> total surface area of the automobile.
>
> Now put on those wayfarers, wrap a scarf around your neck, don the cap and go
> collect up your rightful rewards. CHICKS-O-PLENTY.
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
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>
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