> Geoff Bishel writes --
>
> > Before I can visually inspect, I need to clean these
> > puppies up a bit - anyone have any recommendations on
> > cleaner/degreasers that are preferably both strong,
> > and safe (I've got preschoolers and animals at home)
> > but mainly safe?
Simple Green, accept no substitutes. It's nontoxic and
biodegradable, and it leaves your engine bay with that
fresh, minty smell. :-)
I haven't yet seen the first message, so I don't know what
breed of puppies these are (SU carbs? cylinder heads? Bichon
Frise?) So I'll give the complete list of degreasing solutions
and techniques. Oh, and bear in mind that as everyone says
that British cars ooze character, I presume it's a thick
coating of baked-on character that you're trying to remove...
1. Madge Was Right All Along. If it's at all possible, soak
the stuff you're trying to clean, preferably in a strong, warm
solution of Simple Green. There are specific carburetor cleaners;
Gumout makes one, B-21 Chemtool is another, but these are
amazingly foul-smelling, toxic, caustic liquids with a repulsive,
oily yellow fetor about them. They clean like nobody's business,
but you can't use them in an enclosed space or they will give you
a *very* bad headache. I'd stick with the Simple Green and a
large bucket, if the parts are small enough. A washtub can
probably fit an engine block if you're really dedicated. You
might have to change the water a couple of times, and you might
want to add hot water to keep the temperature up, but that's
easy to do.
2. Heat makes it all work better. I mix 25% to 50% (depending
on how thick the character is that I need to scrape off)
Simple Green with *very* hot water from the tap. As an applicator,
I've found that the best approach is a 1-liter plastic soda bottle
with a hole punched through the cap. It's refillable, you can
control the pressure, you can get a continuous stream, and it's
part of the Reduce-Reuse-Recycle triad. :-) Best of all, you can
dribble a little of the solution out the hole with steady hand
pressure, or you can squeeze hard and get a strong spray. I find
that the light steady pressure works well with Points 3 and 4.
3. Brushes are for the last step; if you've got a lot of character
to remove from a Britcar part, use a scraper. I've had good results
with Bondo spreaders on large, flat surfaces like engine bays and
oil pans. Soak the area with the hot water-degreaser solution and
scrape with the plastic Bondo spreader. They're cheap and very
effective, and flexible enough to go around curves and small surface
perturbations like spot-welds and rivets.
4. Brushes are for the last step: while you're working the solvent
into the baked-on grime, use a painter's sponge -- you know, one of
those sponges-on-a-stick that you can buy at the hardware store for
trimming and edging doors and windowframes. The sponge soaks up the
solution and lets you work it into the surface of the crud. When the
crud is soft enough, you can wipe it off, scrape it off, or spray it
off.
5. Brushes are for the last step (have you got that yet?) The problem
with brushes is that if the character is really thick, the bristles get
impregnated with it and you just move it around on the part you're
trying to clean. Once you've soaked, sprayed, scraped, and sponged, you're
ready to brush. Brushes are good for getting into crevices and corners,
but frankly, pressure is better. I keep several different kinds of
brushes: nylon bristles and natural bristles for softer surfaces, and
steel and brass bristles for cast-iron and other hard surfaces. Again,
the bottle of Simple Green works tremendously well at this.
6. Other chemicals: Brakleen is very helpful for certain kinds of
cleanup; it's great for getting into the middle of joints where you
don't want to leave any water, for example. I tend to use Simple Green
in water for big surfaces or surfaces with plain old dirt on them,
and Brakleen for smaller parts or surfaces with baked-on grease and oil.
It's in an aerosol, but let me remind everyone that aerosols have had
no CFCs since 1978. Also, if you do get this stuff in your eye, it
doesn't blind you but it's probably not a good thing, and I wouldn't
advise teenagers to stand around behind the 7-11 taking hits of it. (Well,
maybe *certain* teenagers.) Most brands come with a thin tube for
accurate, high-pressure delivery. Just keep it on the top shelf so
that Li'l Punkin doesn't see how well it gets Magic Marker stains off
the cat. (Actually, we *have* used Goop to get lipstick stains off a cat.
It's moderately effective, but it worked better in this particular test
on the diningroom chairs and on my shirt that my wife was wearing after
Torrey decided that the chairs and the cat needed a few splashes of Estee
Lauder Redder-than-Red, if only because inanimate objects don't try to
rearrange the tendons in your wrist when you hold them under running
water. See what you have to look forward to in about 24 months, Anthony? :-)
6.1. When you get serious about your garage shop, you'll buy a parts
washer. These things have no peer for any bits small enough to get
into them, and though it uses flammable and toxic chemicals, you can
close it and leave it up on the bench where Cupcake can't use it for
a Barbie Malibu Pool (or a G.I. Joe Action Piranha Tank, depending
on which gender-specific toy scorches your personal breaker points). I
use mineral spirits in mine, as they're cheap and I have really good
curbside recycling. What makes parts washers special is an electric pump
that keeps up a continual stream of the cleaner so that you can keep a
steady flow of light pressure on the grimiest of parts. This is where
a wire brush comes in handy, as you can wash it in the stream and keep
the bristles free of gunk. Buy solvent-proof gloves for this, as the
stuff will do bad things to your skin and it dissolves latex gloves like
turpentine in a styrofoam cup.
6.2 When you're even more serious than I am, you'll buy a high-pressure
spray washer like Chris Kantarjiev's. I can't wait to try spraying the
character off the bottom of The Green Car's transmission with it one
weekend soon. I haven't used it myself yet, but I've heard great reports
of its effectiveness (and also of what happens if you spray unprotected
skin with its 1200-psi stream, so I will probably have a full face shield
and heavy gloves when I try it out).
7. What About The Mechanic? Lately I've been using a Sta-Lube hand cleaner
with lanolin that's pretty effective. Goop brand hand cleaner is also
known to be effective; in fact, I've used Goop to get axle-grease stains
out of my clothes as well. For that, you *do* want a brush: work the
Goop in *plain* -- it dissolves on contact with water -- with a soft brush,
rubbing it well into the fibers of the clothing. Then use lukewarm water
to lift the stuff out -- just skin temperature. If it's too hot you'll
fix the carbon in the fibers of the fabric (sometimes called "dyeing"),
but a little warmth speeds up the chemical reaction and keeps the
grease from recongealing. (Its efectiveness on animal fibers while still
attached to the animal has also been demonstrated, above.)
8. When your spouse makes a face that looks Edvard Munch's "The Scream"
after she sees the greasy footprints on the kitchen floor, simply reassure
her that Simple Green is a great floor cleaner too. Then, unless you have
a very comfortable shed in the back yard or a couch that you really like
sleeping on, demonstrate its effectiveness for her. And next time, pretend
you're working on a Japanese car and slip off your shoes before you walk
on the white linoleum.
--Scott "Next week: five delightful meals you can make out of string!" Fisher
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