No LBC info, but with the current thread on viruses, thought you all might
like this -
Bob
>New Viruses to Watch For
>
>
>OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
>Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands
>back to 200MB.
>
>PAUL REVERE VIRUS
>This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending
>hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice if by C:\
>
>POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS
>Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an
>"electronic microorganism."
>
>RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS
>Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you
>attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about
>possible alternatives.
>
>ROSS PEROT VIRUS
>Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing
>quits.
>
>MARIO CUOMO VIRUS
>It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
>
>TED TURNER VIRUS
>Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
>
>ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
>Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
>
>DAN QUAYLE VIRUS
>Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out watt!
>
>GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS
>Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
>
>NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS
>Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking
>about it.
>
>FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS
>Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does
>practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part
>of your computer.
>
>GALLUP VIRUS
>Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14
>percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin for error).
>
>TEXAS VIRUS
>Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
>
>CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #1
>The computer locks up, screens splits erratically with a message appearing
>on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
>
>CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2
>Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the
>user to accomplish anything.
>
>AIRLINE VIRUS
>You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
>
>AT&T VIRUS
>Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
>
>MCI VIRUS
>Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
>AT&T virus.
>
>FREUDIAN VIRUS
>Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
>
>PBS VIRUS
>Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money...
>
>ELVIS VIRUS
>Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-destructs -- only to
>resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
>
>OLLIE NORTH VIRUS
>Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
>
>SEARS VIRUS
>Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set
>of shocks.
>
>JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS
>Your programs can never be found again.
>
>KEVORKIAN VIRUS
>Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
>
>IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS
>Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot-up, then subtracts money from
>your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases
>through Prodigy.
>
>STAR TREK VIRUS Trevor
>Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
>
>HEALTH CARE VIRUS
>Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for
>$4,500.
>
>GEORGE BUSH VIRUS
>It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs ... no new files!" on the
>screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with
>new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
>
>NEW YORK JETS VIRUS
>Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
>
>LAPD VIRUS
>It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases
>them in "self-defense."
>
>CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS
>Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you
>still love it.
>
>ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS
>Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars, its programmer will
>take it back.
>
>O.J. VIRUS
>It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your
>files and vows to find the virus that did it.
>
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