Even funnier reading it for the second time! She does indeed have a way
with words! Thanks Katie (and Phil, and David P)!
Arie
----------
>From: "Phil Esra" <philesra@hotmail.com>
>To: ba-autox@autox.team.net
>Subject: from the attic...
>Date: Fri, May 12, 2000, 7:16 PM
>
> A big thanks to David Parker for excavating these for me. Good stuff for
> those who weren't around for, or want a rehash of, the brutally long
> off-season of '98... (it's long)
>
> phil
>
>
>
> From: "Kelly, Katie" <katiek@spss.com>
> Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 16:33:57 -0500
> Subject: RE: A better sunscreen
>
> Sticky in Sunnyvale writies:
>
> - ----------------
> I'm getting really sick and tired of feeling sticky and gooey all
> weekend
> from most sunscreens I've tried. And M3's leather interior likes it even
> less:-). What are the better non-greasy sunscreens on the market? Any
> suggestions?
> - ---------------
>
> So glad you asked, Boris! Tired of feeling gooey myself (and attracting
> dust and asphalt particles which stuck to my legs all day), I took my
> problems to my local Clinique counter at Macy's. I said, "Look, don't
> try to sell me any make up. I'm just sick of sticky sunscreen. And by
> the way, do you have any tinted lip balm?"
>
> Mitsy immediatly asked me some basic skin questions, like: Do you wash
> your face, are you aware that if you don't use our products, you're face
> will fall off, don't you feel like a freak shopping in here with your
> naked facial skin exposed so we can all see your freckles and laugh
> lines?
>
> Then she filled in my answers into this little chart and came up with
> the perfect tinted and UV protectent lip balm for me. I was expecting
> glow in the dark lips, but surprise! I was actually quite satisfied with
> the muted and natural looking color.
>
> Then we moved on to the sunscreen. What I learned from Mitzi are there
> are two kinds. I forgot exactly what they are, because all I wanted was
> sunblock, not a lesson in hide tanning. Well, you might actually find
> this interesting. The two kinds are called something like "chemical" and
> "non-chemical." The chemical kinds actually absorb the sun light. They
> are very easy to apply. However, they only last a short time and you
> have to reapply often.
>
> The non-chemical types take a little work to rub into the skin. It's
> best to use freshly exfoliated skin. The term "exfoliate" is a very
> large word which really means "to scrub clean." To demonstrate this,
> Mitzi took a piece of scotch tape from the tape holder which she
> actually had strung around her neck like a neckless. FrrrrEAK! She stuck
> it on the top of my hand and removed. Ooooo! That's dead skin! Very
> gross. She then applied a mild non-abrasive purply tinted chemical to
> the area and said, "This works as well as an exfoliate." Apparently,
> this chemical eats away at your dead skin, rendering it clean, shiny and
> new.
>
> Then she applied the non-chemical sunscreen to my hand. "Doesn't this
> feel nice?" she said. Actually, it did. I could not tell the difference
> between that and my fully naked exposed skin on the other hand. The
> advantage of the non-chemical sunscreen is that it actually BLOCKS the
> sun from ever reaching your skin, Mitzi says. It takes a little longer
> to work onto the skin, but chances are, you can probably wear it all
> day. "But don't forget to exfoliate that night, or it will stay there
> forever!" she reminded me. How comforting.
>
> Also, you really don't need to use too much of the stuff, which makes it
> even less sticky.
>
> A non-chemical sunscreen might be easier on your car's leather interior,
> as well.
>
> Or, you might try applying the sunscreen all over your car's leather
> interior, just to even out the chemical (or "non-chemical") reaction.
>
> Then again, I'm having a hard time understanding how the "non-chemicals"
> in non-chemical sunscreens got the name "non-chemical." All the
> ingredients still have long, hard to pronounce names if you ask me. It's
> kind of freaky, what we put on our skin to protect it from this natural
> star in the sky. At least I know what the sun does to me. What does this
> stuff do that I can't see?
>
> Oh well.
>
> Any men reading this might want to go somewhere other than the Clinique
> counter, as the employees there generally frown upon facial hair. But at
> least you know a little bit more about sunscreen. Probably more than you
> ever wanted to, I bet.
>
> Katie Kelly
> Technical Publications
> SPSS Bay Area
> (415)453-6700 ext.233
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> From: "Kelly, Katie" <katiek@spss.com>
> Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 13:24:29 -0600
> Subject: the Ace Report: Week 3 with no autocross.
>
> Hello everyone out there in cyber land.
>
> I was just wondering if anyone else noticed this. Have you noticed how much
> money you save in the off season? It's only been a month, but I never
> realized until now that I actually make a decent salary! I've got all this
> extra money now, and I'm freakin' out because I don't know what to do with
> it all!
>
> So, I've started shopping a whole lot more.
>
> And while I was shopping, and ladies, you might find this interesting, I was
> introduced to the wonders of the Clinique counter. Like, two Saturdays ago,
> some friends of mine, non-autocrossers all (freaks!) and I were shopping in
> Berkeley, an excellent place to shop! Well, we were in this funky little
> store with many wondrous deals to be had, and we discovered, under flashing
> neon lights, the Clinique counter. They had a special free sale! Buy $16.50
> worth of stuff, and you get even MORE free stuff!
>
> We had found the Promised Land. And let me tell you something about
> Clinique. The sales people LOVE to put stuff on your face, so it requires no
> skill whatsoever. You just go up there, and you say, "Hello, I have no idea
> how to put on make up. What do I do?"
>
> And Daphne, or whatever her name is on the name tag, will say, "Oh, don't
> worry about it. I'll show you!"
>
> And I'm serious, that's exactly what happened when I finally met up with
> destiny. I said, "Uh, oh, I can't put that on. I just had a big slab of
> pizza. My fingers are covered in grease."
>
> And Barbi said, "That's okay! Here, use this special non-abrasive chemical
> grease remover on your fingers, and I'll put some of this on your face!"
> They live for this stuff!
>
> So, after our conquest, we went next door to this little coffee shop and
> poured all of our new free loot on the table. "Wow! This one gives you a
> sheer, matte finish!" exlaimed Bobbi.
>
> "And this one brings your eye-lashes to their full potential!" gleamed Kari.
>
> There were some women with really short hair and frown lines at a table next
> to us, scoffing at these silly girls with their new purchases. Oh well,
> that's their problem that they're so miserable.
>
> Once, I was that miserable, too, when I didn't know the joys of exfoliation.
> One can only hope something will get through to these poor women who have
> yet to learn the purpose of womanhood, which I think is that you get to put
> all this junk on your face.
>
> If I'm learning anything during this hiatus, it's that I'm so glad I'm a
> girl! I really pity you boys with your razor burns. May you too discover the
> joys of a deep moisturizer.
>
> Well, thus concludes week three of my journey into "normal" life. I hope
> others are coping as well as I am!
>
> If you can call this coping. Actually, I think I may be losing my mind.
> Well, that's for another topic.
>
> This is your friendly Ace Reporter, signing off.
>
>
> Katie Kelly
> Technical Publications
> SPSS Bay Area
> (510)412-2812
> mailto:katiek@spss.com
> - ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Guilt slows your metabolism.
>
>
>
> From: "Kelly, Katie" <katiek@spss.com>
> Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 14:25:58 -0600
> Subject: RE: the Ace Report: Week 3 with no autocross.
>
> Kit Wetzler writes...
>
>>Heck, no!
>>
>>As a budding player in CSP, the off season is when I have time to play
>>with the car... ends up being more expensive, because I realize just HOW
>>MUCH I need a Tec-II, and just HOW NICE a quad throttle body setup would
>>be, and GOSH, wouldn't saving 25lbs be great if I went to some pretty
>>Recaro racing seats?... and, hm, I wonder how much power I'd get if I
>>built a nice 4 into 1 header? or.. shocks, springs, adjustable spring
>>perches, camber plates, delrin bushings, sway bars, stainless brake
>>lines, a header, a test pipe, new plug wires, rebuilt the engine,
>>lightened flywheel, heavy duty clutch, rain tires, dry tires, rain
>>wheels, dry wheels... and boy, having a tow vehicle would be great...
>
> Easy there, Kit! You're stressin' me out!
>
> The good news is there's a Clinique for Men line. It might help you get a
> grip.
>
> Soon, you too will be enlightened.
>
> Katie
>
>
>
>
> From: Bret Dodson <bret@serv.net>
> Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 14:48:35 -0800 (PST)
> Subject: Re: Ace Report: Cosmetics, the offseason and Rallycross
>
> On Thu, 3 Dec 1998, Kit Wetzler wrote:
>
>>In the interest of preserving what little manhood I still have after
>>buying a Miata, I usually use a metal file and 50 grit sandpaper to
>>clean my skin. When I'm feeling lazy, a bit of hydrochloric acid works
>>well, why keep dirty skin on, when you can just burn it off?
>
> I too suffer from the dreaded "You drive a Miata? Oh... I had never
> noticed how tidy a dresser you are..." syndrome. Add in the Nordstrom bag
> filled with Clinique for Men products (complete with that darling free
> carrying purse, i mean bag!) in the trunk and what is a guy to do?
>
> My answer: Cease the practice of hygene maintenance immediately.
>
> This gives the people I encounter at the Ballet, Opera, book groups,
> foreign film club and plant store no doubt as to the level of my
> manliness.
>
> Have you ever noticed that most male Miata drivers are either
> Hairdressers, Interior decorators, Ballet choreographers/dancers or
> software/hardware engineers or some other sort of high tech compu-sort?
>
> This makes me think that male B Stock drivers have to be the bravest, most
> sure of who they are, guys in the racing community. And some of the best
> looking and most stylishly dressed guys in the pits, I might add (not that
> there's anything wrong with that!).
>
> In search of a nice woman without a sense of smell...
>
> Bret "I studied dance/choreography in college" Dodson
> '96 Miata R (dark pink with perky white stripes!)
> Sheattle, WA
>
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> From: "Susan L. Collicott" <camel@serv.net>
> Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 16:19:29 -0800 (PST)
> Subject: Re: Ace Report: Cosmetics, the offseason and Rallycross
>
> On Thu, 3 Dec 1998, Bret Dodson wrote:
>
>>I too suffer from the dreaded "You drive a Miata? Oh... I had never
>>noticed how tidy a dresser you are..." syndrome. Add in the Nordstrom
>>bag filled with Clinique for Men products (complete with that darling
>>free carrying purse, i mean bag!) in the trunk and what is a guy to
>>do?
>
> Whereas it seems like all female Miata drivers in Seattle are blonde women
> who have no driving skills and never get above 50 mph and can't shift
> worth a damn.
>
> Ok ok, so I'm blonde too, but c'mon! I have an *R package*! And I put
> the top down, unlike all the other female drivers I see. They never have
> their tops down. (What are they, chicken?! Go topless!) At least I've got
> the roll bar to set me apart from certain other red Miata drivers in
> town...
>
>>Bret "I studied dance/choreography in college" Dodson
>>'96 Miata R (dark pink with perky white stripes!)
>>Sheattle, WA
>
> Susan "I studied how to crush cans on my forehead in college"
> '96 Miata R (zooming-by red with lots of dust)
> Seattle, WA
>
>
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