Ouch! It's the "significant other who doesn't understand my car" issue!
Thinking over the years I've spent in British car clubs, some car owners come by
themselves and many come with spouses. Actually, most of those whose wives come
to events are couples without childen or with children who are grown. Those
couples have the time to participate, perhaps?
I was one of those Triumph wives, but very early on I got involved with the
cars, helping in mechanical work and going to all events. I got involved to the
extent that when we broke up I kept the TR250 we owned. (Careful what you wish
for.)
But this is not your situation. If you wife is taking care of 3 small children
(whew!) she's a very busy lady! I wonder if it may be this free time to enjoy
yourself that she is jealous of. Does she have something like that for herself,
too? Can you help make sure that she gets that time off? Or is there some help
you could give her using the 90 minutes of one of those mornings?
Your TR3s are not exactly family cars; it doesn't seem that you could all go
someplace in them unless your wife is a Triumph driver, too. And I know that
getting small children ready to go anywhere is a hassle and that time for
parents is precious to come by. I guess I'm suggesting a little compromise
worked out with your wife while the children are small. It seems that it's not
just the cars that are important to you, but that you actually ejnoy the
puttering time. Tell her that and ask her what compromise would make her feel
better about your hobby. Make sure she gets some benefit!
As you follow messages on the list you'll find that many car owners have
involved their children with the car hobby around the age of 10 or 12, and it
has become a great experience for all involved. So, probably better times are
ahead when the children are older, your wife less busy and the cars can be more
fun for everyone. Good luck to you both! I wouldn't have given up my Triumph
adventures and travels and people I've met for anything.
Pat Fischer
Bill Brewer wrote:
> Hey Listers,
> This is a serious and sensitive issue.
> SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed), IE my wife, has a problem with my cars
> (two TR-3's). I get up at 0430 every morning to work on them while she and
> our three young children are still sleeping. I get 90 minutes personal time
> every morning which is divided 50/50 between Triumphs and studying the
> Bible. I find it easy to jump out of bed at the thought of being able to
> work on the car with a hot cup of tea, unmolested.
> My kids love to ride in the TR.
> My wife thinks that it is okay sometimes.
>
> I am trying to placate my wife. I do things that might help her to join
> and enjoy my hobby. Our British car club is very wife friendly and
> essentially everyone comes with their wife. I take her with me to two yearly
> car shows (and shopping after) and see if she likes any aspect of the hobby.
> It turns out that she has always loved Morris Minor Woody Wagons
> (Travellers). There may be one in our garage someday.
> If my wife came home and caught me in bed with her best friend she
> would say "Well at least he wasn't working on that F***ing Triumph."
> The Triumph and airplane were both here long before the wife. Maybe
> they are the last strongholds of bachelorhood that she is trying to purge.
> Can any listers provide any usefull lessons learned and helpful
> suggestions? There could be some real nuggets of wisdom out there.
> I love my wife and am a dedicated husband and father. My wife views the
> Triumph as the "other woman". I feel that life is too short not to drive a
> roadster.
> Thanks
> Bill Brewer
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