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Re: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To: <british-cars@autox.team.net>
Subject: Re: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
From: "Glen Wilson" <rstca@hemmings.com>
Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2000 14:40:01 -0500
To us Yanks, it's a novelty to see our elected representatives yelling at
each other at the tops of their lungs and making absurd arguments that no
judge would waste time listening to.  In the USA, we get to watch what goes
on in Parliament on CSPAN, so we know that's the normal mode of political
discourse in the UK.  You guys are WAY out in front when it comes to
posturing before the camera.  We must seem like amateurs by comparison, so
I'm not surprised to hear that you're all rolling on the floors over there.

Pretty soon, it will end up in the U.S. Supreme Court and be decided once
and for all.

No bombs, no shootings, no hostages, no military intervention, no martial
law, no curtailment of individual civil rights.

After all,  we have a Constitution that ultimately protects inmdividual
rights and keeps things from getting too much out of line.  Some major
countries do not, and their entire system or any individual right can change
with a single vote in Parliament.  (Or at least that's what I've heard...)

It may look messy, but it will sort itself out shortly, and we'll go on as
usual, for better or worse.

In the meantime, have no fear...we don't.

;-)

Glen


----- Original Message -----
From: "Henley" <mhenley@suffolk.lib.ny.us>
To: "Paul Garside" <Paul.Garside@seagatesoftware.com>
Cc: <british-cars@autox.team.net>
Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2000 1:35 PM
Subject: Re: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE


>    I find this so hilarious!!!!
>    We could have whipped those yankees if you had cooperated on the cotten
> embargo.               CHEERS!!
>             I am Marvin Eugene Henley
>      Confederate States of America
>
>
> On Wed, 15 Nov 2000, Paul Garside wrote:
>
> > NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> >
> > To the citizens of the United States of America,
> >
> > In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
> > govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> > independence, effective today.
> >
> > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
over
> > all states, commonwealths and other territories.  Except Utah, which she
> > does not fancy.
> >
> > Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you
> > who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders)
> > will appoint a minister for America without the need for further
elections.
> > Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.  A questionnaire will be
> > circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
> >
> > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules
> > are introduced with immediate effect:
> >
> > 1.   You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then
> > look up "aluminium".  Check the pronunciation guide.  You will be amazed
at
> > just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.  Generally, you should
raise
> > your vocabulary to acceptable levels.  Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same
> > twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
"you
> > know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.  Look up
> > "interspersed".
> >
> > 2.   There is no such thing as "US English".  We will let Microsoft know
on
> > your behalf.
> >
> > 3.   You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It
> > really isn't that hard.
> >
> > 4.   Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the
> > good guys.
> >
> > 5.   You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen",
> > but only after fully carrying out task 1.  We would not want you to get
> > confused and give up half way through.
> >
> > 6.   You should stop playing American "football".  There is only one
kind of
> > football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game.
> > The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders
> > may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.  You will
no
> > longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
> > Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.  It is a
difficult
> > game.  Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
> > (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping
for
> > a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
> > nancies).  We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side
by
> > 2005.
> >
> > 7.   You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if
> > they give you any merde.  The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
there is
> > a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.  The
Russians
> > have never been the bad guys.  "Merde" is French for "shit".
> >
> > 8.   July 4th is no longer a public holiday.  November 8th will be a new
> > national holiday, but only in England.  It will be called "Indecisive
Day".
> >
> > 9.   All American cars are hereby banned.  They are crap and it is for
your
> > own good.  When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean.
> >
> > 10.  Please tell us who killed JFK.  It's been driving us crazy.
> >
> >      Thank you for your cooperation.
> >      ERII

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