Thanks Kelly for this story. It is one of the most rational and
enjoyable postings I have ever read here. Although I am surprised
someone didn't argue with you about excellerating out of the corner :-)
Great Job.
Doug H
ASP '93 911 RS America
>From: "Kelly, Katie" <kkelly@spss.com>
>To: autox@autox.team.net, ba-autox@autox.team.net
>Subject: I'm Lost
>Date: Mon, 22 Feb 1999 12:46:57 -0800
>Reply-To: "Kelly, Katie" <kkelly@spss.com>
>
>So, I decided to bail on the autocross in Sacramento yesterday because
I
>just knew it was going to pour. So, instead, I decided to go to the
>Clinique counter.
>
>Of course, it didn't rain until dark yesterday, but I had made up my
>mind. But my reasoning was simple. You know when I told you about all
>that free stuff I got from Clinique? Well, I had accidentally put the
>free lip pencil in the wash and it ruined it. So, I had to go get a
>replacement.
>
>So, I went up to the counter at my local Macy's, and I showed the sales
>person wearing this white lab coat my problem, and she said, "Well!
>We'll just have to fix that!"
>
>Well, all of a sudden, and don't ask me why, it occurred to me that I
>needed eyeshadow.
>
>Just that above sentence alone should be more than enough evidence that
>yes, I am losing my mind.
>
>So, I told Lee Ann in the white lab coat about this need I had, and she
>looked at me suddenly like I was a long lost friend. Her eyes grew
>bigger, and she stared in my face like I was a blank canvas. "I know
>just what you need," she said with a nurturing voice.
>
>Then she went behind the wall, came out and looked at me, went back
>again, came back out and looked some more, all the while with this
>sparkle in her eye, like she had something in store for me. I was
>growing more afraid by the minute. Meanwhile, I'm sure all my autox
>friends were in Chevy's bench racing, and there I was, a new lab
>experiment.
>
>The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the chair as Lee Ann started
>smearing all this gunk in my face. Her voice was soft and soothing,
like
>a favorite school teacher. I began to relax and enjoy it. I felt
>pampered. She said, as she was smoothing out my rough edges, "You know,
>I can tell looking at you, you don't like a lot of make up. And you
>know, that's okay!"
>
>Those were the words I wanted to hear! "You mean, I'm NORMAL?"
>
>"I wouldn't say that, but anyway, so, tell me, did you do anything
>special this weekend?"
>
>What to say! "Uh, I raced my car?"
>
>At that moment, Katrina from a competitor's counter came over, why I
>don't know. She said, "Oh, you race? What kind of car?"
>
>"A Miata."
>
>"That's not a race car!"
>
>How can these people have opinions about race cars! How dare this woman
>who exfoliates skin for a living tell ME my car isn't a race car!
>
>But I didn't feel like arguing, because I was in a completely relaxed
>state.
>
>Lee Ann: "You know, applying eye shadow is very similar to rounding out
>an apex of a turn. Look, smooth lines, then clear the corner, now
>accelerate out to the corner of the eye. So, tell me, do you ever wear
>fragrance?"
>
>"Red Line?"
>
>So, I'm not going to tell you how much I spent on this goop, other than
>Nissin makes Cup-a-Soup meals for 79 cents, and you can guess what I'll
>be eating till the end of this century. I did, however, learn that my
>skin type is III. That's about all I can tell you about it.
>
>The lesson learned: I'll stick to autocrossing. It's a lot cheaper.
>
>Katie Kelly
>Technical Publications
>SPSS Bay Area
>(510)412-2812
>mailto:katiek@spss.com
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Guilt slows your metabolism.
>
>
>
>
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