So, I decided to bail on the autocross in Sacramento yesterday because I
just knew it was going to pour. So, instead, I decided to go to the
Clinique counter.
Of course, it didn't rain until dark yesterday, but I had made up my
mind. But my reasoning was simple. You know when I told you about all
that free stuff I got from Clinique? Well, I had accidentally put the
free lip pencil in the wash and it ruined it. So, I had to go get a
replacement.
So, I went up to the counter at my local Macy's, and I showed the sales
person wearing this white lab coat my problem, and she said, "Well!
We'll just have to fix that!"
Well, all of a sudden, and don't ask me why, it occurred to me that I
needed eyeshadow.
Just that above sentence alone should be more than enough evidence that
yes, I am losing my mind.
So, I told Lee Ann in the white lab coat about this need I had, and she
looked at me suddenly like I was a long lost friend. Her eyes grew
bigger, and she stared in my face like I was a blank canvas. "I know
just what you need," she said with a nurturing voice.
Then she went behind the wall, came out and looked at me, went back
again, came back out and looked some more, all the while with this
sparkle in her eye, like she had something in store for me. I was
growing more afraid by the minute. Meanwhile, I'm sure all my autox
friends were in Chevy's bench racing, and there I was, a new lab
experiment.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the chair as Lee Ann started
smearing all this gunk in my face. Her voice was soft and soothing, like
a favorite school teacher. I began to relax and enjoy it. I felt
pampered. She said, as she was smoothing out my rough edges, "You know,
I can tell looking at you, you don't like a lot of make up. And you
know, that's okay!"
Those were the words I wanted to hear! "You mean, I'm NORMAL?"
"I wouldn't say that, but anyway, so, tell me, did you do anything
special this weekend?"
What to say! "Uh, I raced my car?"
At that moment, Katrina from a competitor's counter came over, why I
don't know. She said, "Oh, you race? What kind of car?"
"A Miata."
"That's not a race car!"
How can these people have opinions about race cars! How dare this woman
who exfoliates skin for a living tell ME my car isn't a race car!
But I didn't feel like arguing, because I was in a completely relaxed
state.
Lee Ann: "You know, applying eye shadow is very similar to rounding out
an apex of a turn. Look, smooth lines, then clear the corner, now
accelerate out to the corner of the eye. So, tell me, do you ever wear
fragrance?"
"Red Line?"
So, I'm not going to tell you how much I spent on this goop, other than
Nissin makes Cup-a-Soup meals for 79 cents, and you can guess what I'll
be eating till the end of this century. I did, however, learn that my
skin type is III. That's about all I can tell you about it.
The lesson learned: I'll stick to autocrossing. It's a lot cheaper.
Katie Kelly
Technical Publications
SPSS Bay Area
(510)412-2812
mailto:katiek@spss.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Guilt slows your metabolism.
|