[Spridgets] Pat - NO LBC

[robertduquette at sympatico.ca]


Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.   Quinn thinks hes
very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among
themselves is that theyre always assured of having a worthy opponent.

An American lawyer asked, Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman
a question, he answers with another question?
Who told you that? asked Paddy.

Question  Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer  So the English can understand them.

Reilly went to trial for armed robbery.   The jury foreman came out and
announced, Not guilty.
Thats grand! shouted Reilly.   Does that mean I can keep the money?

Irish lass customer:    Could I be trying on that dress in the window?
Shopkeeper:  Id prefer that you use the dressing room.

Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, Is that you I hear spittin in the vase
on the mantle piece?
No, said himself, but Im  gettin closer all the time.

Question  What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
Answer -   A bachelor.

Finnegin:   My wife has a terrible habit of staying up til two oclock in the
morning.   I cant break her of it.
Keenan:    What on earth is she doin at that time?
Finnegin:   Waitin for me to come home .

Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.   Quick! He said.   Send
an ambulance, my wife is goin to have a baby!
Tell me, is this her first baby? the intern asked.
No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin.

ORyan, asked the druggist, did that mudpack I gave you improve your wifes
appearance?
It did surely, replied ORyan, but it keeps fallin off!

Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon
waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?

My mother wanted me to be a priest.   Can you imagine giving up your sex life
and then once a
week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?