[Healeys] "FRIDAY FUNNIES" EXTRA EXTRA

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SPECIAL EDITION for "FRIDAY FUNNIES"
 
 
A man walks out to the street and  catches a taxi just going by. He gets 
into the taxi, and the cabbie says,  "Perfect timing. You're just like  Frank."

Passenger:  "Who?"

Cabbie:   "Frank  Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the 
time.  Like my coming  along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to 
Frank Feldman every  single time."

Passenger:  "There are always a  few clouds over  everybody."

Cabbie:   "Not Frank  Feldman.  He was a terrific athlete.  He could have 
won the Grand Slam  at tennis. He could golf with the pros.  He sang like an 
opera  baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard 
him play the  piano. He was an amazing  guy."

Passenger:   "Sounds like he was  something really  special."

Cabbie:   "There's more.  He had a memory like a computer.  He remembered 
everybody's birthday.  He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which 
fork to eat them with.  He could fix anything. Not like me.  I change a 
fuse, and the whole  street blacks out.  But Frank Feldman, he could do 
everything  right."

Passenger:   "Wow. Some guy  then."

Cabbie:   "He always knew the  quickest way to go in traffic and avoid 
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem  to get stuck in them.  But Frank, he 
never made a mistake, and he  really knew how to treat a woman and make her 
feel good.  He would  never talk back to her even if she was in the wrong; 
and  his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.  He was  
the perfect man! He never made a mistake.  No one could ever measure  up to 
Frank Feldman."

Passenger:   "An  amazing fellow.  How did you meet  him?"

Cabbie:   "Well, I never actually met Frank.  He died. I'm married to his 
fucking widow."