[Healeys] Fw: Breakthrough In Electrical Theory

[healeymanjim at hansencc.net]

passed to me.  thought the list might enjoy.  hjim


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>  Being a Healey driver, you have probably seen this one before, in any case, it does put forward a new perspective on how electricity works . . . for British cars that is.
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>  >  
>  >  'ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS'
>  >  
>  >  Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the
>  >  transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral
>  >  manifestation known as "smoke"..
>  >  
>  >  Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be
>  >  true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it
>  >  stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
>  >  
>  >  For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery,
>  >  prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases
>  >  to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical
>  >  component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that
>  >  the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
>  >  
>  >  The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device
>  >  to another. When the wiring springs a  leak and lets all the smoke out of
>  >  the system, nothing works afterward.
>  >  
>  >  Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some
>  >  time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring
>  >  very unsightly large wires.
>  >  
>  >  It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more
>  >  prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American
>  >  counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and
>  >  all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers,
>  >  hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air
>  >  and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.
>  >  
>  >  Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke.
>  >  Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
>  >  
>  >  In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in
>  >  the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of
>  >  electrical  components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph
>  >  Lucas, Ltd.
>  >  
>  >  And remember: "A gentleman does not motor about after dark." Joseph Lucas
>  >  (1842-1903)
>  >  
>  >  Now you know all about it.....having owned an Austin-Healey, I am quite
>  >  familiar with leaks and Lucas, Prince of Darkness....DH
>  >  
>  >  
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