[Healeys] Friday Funnies

MBran89793 at aol.com MBran89793 at aol.com
Fri Oct 12 12:42:01 MDT 2007


Defective  Parrot

A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a  little   
perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says  aloud,  "Golly, I   wonder 
what happened to this  parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."  "Holy crap," 
the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered  me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a  highly intelligent, 
thoroughly educated bird."  "Oh yeah?" the man  asks, "Then answer this -- how 
do you hang onto your perch without any  feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since  you asked,  I 
wrap my weenie around this wood en bar like a little  hook. You can't  see it 
because of my feathers."
 

"Wow," says the guy.  "You really can understand and speak English can't 
you?" "Actually, I speak both  Spanish and English, and I can converse with 
reasonable competence on  almost any topic: politics,  religion, sports,  physics, 
philosophy.  I'm especially good at  ornithology. You really ought to buy me. 
I'd  be a great companion."

The man looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry,  but I just can't afford   
that."  "Pssssssst," says the parrot,  "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody 
wants me 'cause I don't have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just 
make the guy an offer!" The  man offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is  sensational. He has a great sense of humor,  he's 
interesting, he's a great  pal, he understands  everything, he sympathizes, 
and he's insightful .  The man is  delighted.
One day the man comes home from work and the  parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," 
and motions him over with one wing. "I don't  know if I should tell you this 
or not, but it's about your wife and  the
postman."  "What are you talking about?" asks the man. "When the  postman 
delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a  sheer black 
nightie."
 
"WHAT???" the guy  says incredulously. "THEN what happened?"  "Well, then the 
postman came  into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her 
all over,"  reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"   "Yes.  Then he continued taking off 
the nightie, got down on his   knees  and began to kiss her all over...."  Then 
the frantic man  screams, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
 
~{!1~}Damned if I  know. I got an erection and fell off my perch!~{!1

 



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