Just some stuff someone sent me..... I don't write it, I just pass it
along - gav
AUDI:
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW:
Break my windows,
Black man's wheels.
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
CHEVROLET:
Cranks Hard, Every Valve Rattles. Oil leaks Every Time.
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE:
Dead Or Dying Garage Equipment
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT:
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Found In Any Tip
Found It At Tip
Found In A Terror
FERRARI:
Fast, Expressive Red Racing Auto - Rahrahrah Italia
FORD:
Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge
First On Race Day
Fubar On Race Day
Fixed On Race Day
Fix or Repair Daily
Found on Rubbish Dump
Fucked on Race Day
Fools Only Risk Driving
First on Race Day.
Fragile Old Rusty Deathtraps
Full Of Rust & Defects
Fragile Overpriced Rusty Deathtraps
Ford Owners Root Dogs
Fixed Or Repaired Daily
backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
GM:
General Maintenance
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
HOLDEN:
Holes Oil Leaks Dents Engine Noises
Heap Of Loud Diff & Engine Noises
Heaps of Lumps, Dents, Engine Noises
Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now
Heaps Of Little Dirty Engine Nuts
Horrible Old Limo Drives Extremely Nasty
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
HYUNDAI:
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
IPEC:
I Pass Every Cunt
MAZDA:
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MITSUBISHI:
Miniature Imported Terribly Substandard Underpowered Boring &
Incredibly Secondrate Honda Imitation
MOPAR:
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
NISSAN:
Nasty Immoral Salesmen Selling Automotive Nightmares
OLDSMOBILE:
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every
day.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover
Equipment
PONTIAC:
Product Only Needs To Imitate A Chevrolet
SAAB:
Stick At Aircraft Building
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TORANA:
Tons Of Rust And No Acceleration
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Takes One Yellow Oriental To Assemble
VOLVO:
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Various Old Lady Victim Owners
Vehicle Of Longsighted Vacant Occupants
Very Old Lame Vehicle Owners
VW:
Virtually Worthless
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