> > > A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a
> > parrot sitting on a little
> > perch.
> > > It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy
> > says aloud, "Jeesh. I
> > wonder
> > > what happened to this parrot?"
> > > The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
> > defective parrot."
> > > "Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually
> > understood and answered
> > me!"
> > > "I got every word," says the parrot. "I am a
> > highly intelligent,
> > thoroughly
> > > educated bird."
> > > "Oh yeah, then answer this! How do you hang
> > onto your perch without
> > any
> > > feet?"
> > > "Well," the parrot says, "this is very
> > embarrassing but since you
> > asked.
> > > I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a
> > little hook. You can't
> > see
> > it
> > > because of my feathers."
> > > "Wow," says the guy, "you really can
> > understand and speak English,
> > can't
> > > you?"
> > > "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English
> > and I can converse with
> > > reasonable competence on almost any topic:
> > politics, religion, sports,
> > > physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at
> > ornithology. You really
> > ought
> > > to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
> > > The guy looks at the $2,000 price tag.
> > "Sorry, but I just can't afford
> > > that."
> > > "Listen" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so
> > the truth is, nobody wants
> > me
> > > cause I don't have any feet. You can
> > probably get me for $200, just
> > make
> > > the guy an offer!"
> > > The guy offers $200 and walks out with the
> > parrot. Weeks go by. The
> > > parrot is sensational. He has a great sense
> > of humor, he understands
> > > everything, he's interesting, he's a great
> > pal, he sympathizes, and
> > he's
> > > insightful. The guy is delighted.
> > > One day he comes home from work and the
> > parrot goes "Psssssssssssst"
> > and
> > > motions him over with one wing. "I don't
> > know if I should tell you
> > this
> > or
> > > not, but it's about your wife and the
> > postman."
> > > "What are you talking about?" he asks.
> > > "When the postman delivered today, your wife
> > greeted him at the door in
> > a
> > > see-through black nighty and kissed him
> > passionately."
> > > "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN
> > what happened?"
> > > "Well, then the postman came into the house
> > and lifted up her nighty
> > and
> > > began kissing her all over" reported the
> > parrot.
> > > "My God!" the guy exclaims. "Then what?"
> > > "Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on
> > his knees and began to lick
> > her
> > > all over, starting with her breasts and
> > slowly going down...."
> > > "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
> > HAPPENED?"
> > > "Fuck if I know, I got a hard-on and fell off
> > my perch."
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