Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next
>when his
>telephone rang.
>"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy up
>in County
>Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially
>declaring war
>on you!"
>"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! Tell me,
>how big
>is your army?"
>"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation,
>"there is
>myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire
>dominoes
>team from the pub -- that makes eight!"
>Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have a million men in my
>army
>waiting to move on my command."
>"Begorrah!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"
>Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war
>is still
>on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
>"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
>"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor
>from the
>farm."
>Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have sixteen
>thousand
>tanks, fourteen thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has
>increased
>to two million men since we last spoke."
>"Really?" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
>Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, I am
>sorry to
>tell you that we have had to call off the war."
>I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>"Well," said Paddy "We've had a look at the Geneva Convention, all had a
>chat,
>and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
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