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I wouldn't have believed it....

To: spridgets@Autox.Team.Net, healeys@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: I wouldn't have believed it....
From: b-evans@ix.netcom.com
Date: Fri, 31 Jul 1998 20:20:18 -0700
Reply-to: b-evans@ix.netcom.com
Sender: owner-spridgets@Autox.Team.Net
...if I had not seen it with my own eyes!

A little while ago, I was coming down the alley in back of our house.  I
do this  often, just to make sure there is no trouble, particularly
since I have one of my Frogeye Sprites sitting there.  The transmission
is in the car, but no engine, radiator, or other parts in the engine
compartment.

As I drove down the alley, I saw a shopping cart piled high with
someone's belongings sitting next to the Sprite.  Always suspicious, I
stopped and got out.  What I saw was beyond belief.  There was woman of
about 30 sitting IN the engine compartment, her skirt pulled up around
her waist and leaning her back against the crossmember with an arm on
each wheel arch assembly.  She had her ass shoved up against the
transmission, inside the casing, and her legs were straddling the
transmission.  And all the while she was impaled on Austin-Healey Part
Number 2A2259 (first motion shaft with cone and gear).  With her pumping
and moaning, she didn't hear me  approach.

As we had guests from England who were blythely swimming with their
small children in our swimming pool a few feet away, I was somewhat
upset. I am afraid that I grabbed a hose and started watering her down
full blast (probably the first water her body had known in ages).   I am
afraid that I also raised my voice and made assorted threats.

It took her a while to get disintangled and crawl out, and she was
covered with grease.  Well, the parts that I cared to look at were
covered with grease.

I am afraid that I was just terribly politically incorrect in my
treatment of the young woman.  I even gave her shopping cart a shove
down the alley, closely followed by her vodka bottle.

I have long know that a couple could engage in Presidential activities
in a Sprite cockpit (no pun intended). And I have heard of people who
LOVED their cars.  But this?  It was beyond belief.

(Well, all of this DOES relate to the marque!)

Bob


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