This is pretty damn funny!
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God
decided to change the admittance policy. The new law
was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have
a really bummer day on the day that you died. The
policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01, the first person came to
the gates of Heaven.
St. Peter, at the gate, remembering the new policy,
promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, I need
you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th
floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife
having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight.
So immediately I began searching for him. My wife was
half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire
apartment."
"I was just about to give up when I happened to glance
out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man
hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the
balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you
know it he landed in
some trees and bushes that broke his fall, and he
didn't die. This ticked
me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get
the first thing I
could
get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the
first thing I thought
of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out
onto the balcony and
tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
crushed him! The
excitement of the moment was so great, that I had a
heart attack and died
almost instantly "
St. Peter sat back and thought a moment. Technically,
the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion.
So, St. Pete announced, "OK sir, welcome to the
Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "Greetings,
friend. Before I can let you in, I need to hear about
what your day was like when you died."
The man said, "No problem. But you're not going to
believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a
lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to
relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried
away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips
on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this
crazy man comes out of his apartment, starts cussing
and stomps on my fingers."
"Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes
at the bottom, which broke my fall so I didn't die
right away. As I'm lying there face up on the ground,
unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this
guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the
balcony. It falls the 25 floors lands on top of me,
killing me instantly."
St. Peter is quietly laughing to himself as the man
finishes his story. "I could get used to this new
policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well sir, he
announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he
lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, former President Clinton comes up
to the gate. St. Pete is almost too shocked to speak!
Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the
Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr. President, please
tell me what it was like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this, I'm naked inside a
refrigerator...
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