The Lucas Dark Sucker Theory
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but
recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light;
they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker
Theory
and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier
than
light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck
dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much
less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark
Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking
lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full
of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full
Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all
the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick
of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the
way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these
primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle
all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the
Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the
portable Dark Sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a
Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to
touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass
must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates
a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the
surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim
deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When
you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the
heavier
dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at
the top. This is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to
stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the
closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark
is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark
Sucker.
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