Hi all!
Found this, in all places, on a Jeep site. Don't complain about non-LBC
content -- see #8, and I did NOT put that reference in!
Enjoy!
Keep Triumphing (especially when pulled by vintage Jeeps),
Susan Hensley %)
10 Best Tools of All Time
Forget the Snap-On Tools truck; it has never been there when you need
it. Besides there are only 10 things in this world you
need to fix any car, any place, any time.
1.Duct Tape - Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in
stickum and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator
hose, upholstery, insulation, tow rope, and more - in an easy to
carry package. Sure, there's prejudice surrounding duct
tape in concours competitions, but in the real world, everything
from LeMans-winning Porsches to Atlas rockets use it
by the yard. The only thing that can get you out of more scrapes is
a quarter and a phone booth.
2.Vise Grips - Equally adept as a wrench, hammer, pliers, baling wire
twister, breaker-off of frozen bolts and
wiggle-it-til-it-falls-off tool. The heavy artillery of your tool
box, vise grips are the only tool designed expressly to fix
things screwed up beyond repair.
3.Spray Lubricants - A considerably cheaper alternative to new doors,
alternator, and other squeaky items. Slicker than
pig phlegm, repeated soakings will allow the main hull bolts of the
Andrea Doria to be removed by hand. Strangely
enough, an integral part of these sprays is the infamous Little Red
Tube that flies out of the nozzle if you look at it cross
eyed (one of the 10 _worst_ tools of all time).
4.Margarine Tubs with Clear Lids - If you spend all your time under
the hood looking for a frendle pin that caromed off
the pertal valve when you knocked both off the air cleaner, it's
because you eat butter. Real mechanics consume pounds
of tasteless vegetable oil replicas just so they can use the empty
tubs for parts containers afterward. (Some of course
chuck the butter-colored goo altogether or use it to repack wheel
bearings.) Unlike air cleaners and radiator lips,
margarine tubs aren't connected by a time/space wormhole to the
Parallel Universe of Lost Frendle Pins.
5.Big Rock at the Side of the Road - Block up a tire. Smack corroded
battery terminals. Pound out a dent. Bop noisy
know-it-all types on the noodle. Scientists have yet to develop a
hammer that packs the raw banging power of granite or
limestone. This is the only tool with which a "Made in Malaysia"
emblem is not synonymous with the user's maiming.
6.Plastic Zip Ties - After 20 years of lashing down stray hose and
wiring with old bread ties, some genius brought a slightly
slicked-up version to the auto parts market. Fifteen zip ties can
transform a hulking mass of amateur-quality wiring from
a working model of the Brazilian Rain Forest into something
remotely resembling a wiring harness. Of course it works
both ways. When buying a used car, subtract $100 for each zip tie
under the hood.
7.Ridiculously Large Craftsman Screwdriver - Let's admit it. There's
nothing better for prying, chiseling, lifting, breaking,
splitting or mutilating than a huge flatbladed screwdriver,
particularly when wielded with gusto and a big hammer. This is
also the tool of choice for all filters so insanely located that
they can only be removed by driving a stake in one side and
out the other. If you break the screwdriver--and you will just like
Dad and your shop teacher said--who cares, it has a
lifetime guarantee.
8.Baling Wire - Commonly known as MG muffler brackets, baling wire
holds anything that's too hot for tape or ties. Like
duct tape, it's not recommended for concours contenders, since it
works so well you'll never need to replace it with the
right thing again. Baling wire is a sentimental favorite in some
circles, particularly with the MG, Triumph, and flathead
Ford set.
9.Bonking Stick - This monstrous tuning fork with devilish pointy
ends is technically known as a tie-rod separator, but how
often do you separate tie-rod ends? Once every decade if you're
lucky. Other than medieval combat, its real use is the
all-purpose application of undue force, not unlike that of the huge
flat-bladed screwdriver. Nature doesn't know the bent
metal panel or frozen exhaust pipe that can stand up to a good
bonking stick. (Can also be use to separate tie-rod ends
in a pinch, of course, but does a lousy job of it).
10.A Quarter and a Phone Booth - See tip #1 above
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