Spitfire Refuses to Come Back From The Dead!
DATELINE: SUCCASUNNA (no joke!) NJ USA:
After being in a coma for six years, Triumph Spitfire FM96062 refused to
come back to life Sunday, having failed to respond to life-giving
transplants of care and money administered by its owner of nearly a whole
year, Atwell Haines. After receiving its latest transplant (a battery), it
still did not even sputter when the ignition key was turned.
"This is a sad moment, not only for me, but for my whole family," Haines
was quoted as saying, choking back tears at times. "The kids were promised
a loaner car to use when I worked on their autos, but now they will have to
keep on walking." (One daughter allowed as how sometimes things seem to
work out for the best.)
Other family members were not as moved by the experience. "I was looking
forward to the day when my husband would be spending less time in the
garage and more time with me," Mrs. Haines said when interviewed. "I'm
tired of the house smelling like cleaning solvent and paint. And look at
these towels! Why won't he wash his hands better before drying them?"
Experts called onto the scene from as far away as next door were at a loss
to explain the lack of life in the Spitfire. One witness said (after he
finished his beer): "I just don't think its has any spark in it!"
Plans are afoot for looking into the cause of the failure at a later date.
First a HAZMAT team must pronounce the area safe,since as much gasoline as
tears were spilled in the gallant starting attempt.
"I suffered a setback today, but I haven't given up all hope," a determined
Haines vowed." That Spitfire is destined to take its rightful place on the
highways of Succasunna someday! That is my promise!"
Stay tuned to these List pages for further news as the drama unfolds.
Atwell Haines
'79 Spitfire FM96062
'88 Lotus
'88 Mustang 5.0
CarBuff@scooter.net
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