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FW: Out of Office humor

To: "'Gene Merritt'" <gmerritt@netins.net>
Subject: FW: Out of Office humor
From: "Gene Merritt" <gmerritt@netins.net>
Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2005 21:17:29 -0500
Best Out-Of-Office Auto-Replies 

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to
get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office.  If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at
all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me
until I return from holiday. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order in which it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the
first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending
again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many
in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You
are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus. 

AND, FINALLY: 

8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Steve'.






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