This isn't really a shop talk issue. However, we all know this is an
eclectic group, and our conversations are all over the board. So here goes.
I've got a raccoon, one that's larger than my wife's foo foo dog, hanging
around my back yard. One of us has to go; my wife, the dog, the raccoon, or
me. I'm thinking it's me or the raccoon; but my plan is to start on the
raccoon.
Before anyone suggest it, I'd have a real problem bringing out the shotgun
in my neighborhood.
So I called the City and tell them I have a raccoon problem. The city tells
me it is a wildlife problem, "call the Dept of Wildlife". I call the Dept
of Wildlife, they tell me it is a varmint problem, "call a private pest
control company".
So I disguised my voice and called the city's animal control people back,
"Ah, I have a 'cat' problem, what do you suggest"?
ANIMAL CONTROL: "We can provide a cat trap".
ME: "I don't want to kill the 'cat' ". I'm thinking in terms of a huge
mouse trap; I mean, what do I know about raccoon trapping?
ANIMAL CONTROL: "No, no, no. This doesn't kill them or hurt them, it just
traps them. It's like a big cage. You can bring the live animal back to us
in the trap, or we can come an pick it up".
ME: "Perfect, I'll be in to pick up the trap".
So now I need raccoon bait to lure the varmint into the trap, any
suggestions?
Oh, and one more thing what do you think they'll say if I bring back the
cage with a 'cat' that looks like a raccoon? :-)
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