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A pothole ate my tailpipe

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: A pothole ate my tailpipe
From: P86turismo@aol.com
Date: Fri, 11 Jun 1999 12:38:58 EDT
Hello all,
        
        You know, I took my MGB into six states this year, gone off-road to 
catch up to the Blue Ridge parkway, and driven in snow a foot and a half 
deep.  My exhaust system, though tired, always held up.  

        And then I came home to Pennsylvania, where the state flower is the 
"Construction Ahead" sign.

        I was driving through town today, happily delivering parts to the 
post office (Gary, pls e-mail me!) when I saw it.  In the middle of my lane, 
there was a pothole that resembled a bathtub.  In the middle of this pothole 
stood a manhole cover about as wide as my MG, and possibly just as tall.  To 
change lanes would be death by Suburban.  I straddled the pothole and - BANG! 
  My exhaust noise went from a melodic burble to a tooth-jarring growl.

        Seeing as I had planned an enjoyable afternoon trip, I was already on 
the other side of town.  I would have to brave traffic, construction, and 
potholes to get home to make any sort of repair.  I did my best, with the 
exhaust making my windows vibrate in their tracks and every vendor stick 
their head out into the street to see who uncorked their muffler today.  I 
thought I would be OK until I got to the train tracks.

        I never had a chance.  Anyone who lives in PA knows that our railroad 
crossings are bad enough, but under serious construction they have been known 
to swallow VW's alive.  Of course, the same railroad tracks that I had to 
cross to get home were under resurfacing.  For those of you ignorant to the 
ways of PennDOT, that's where they remove an already scarred layer of 
pavement from the road, and leave the site unmanned for three months.  This 
process leaves a two to three inch trench on either side of the tracks, which 
causes flat tires, bent rims, etc.
        
        I gave it a go, and promptly ripped the exhaust system off from the 
center resonator back.  I parked the car, grabbed my roadster towel, and went 
back to collect the wounded.  The pipe that was once straight, including a 
muffler, was now bent into a pattern that reminded me of the "Z" emblem on 
the Datsun 240's.  The pipe was crimped in two paces, clearly unsalvagable.  
I strapped it to my luggage rack and limped home, rattling the panes of glass 
in every house in the neighborhood.
        
        At home, I laid out the parts to see how it happened. The manhole 
cover caught the one hanger and pulled it off, distorting the pipe and 
causing the resonator to drop down.  The resurfacing project caught the 
dragging piece of pipe, bent it, and spit it out the rear of the car.  In the 
process, the muffler popped up and tore the ever-lovin' s#!t out of my rear 
valence.  Great - more bodywork.  The pipe system scraped off the gas tank, 
barely missed the rear brake pipe, and put a dent in my trunk floor.

        I calmed myself down, and called the municipal system.  They seemed 
to care less, but they were kind enough to tell me who to see about the 
problem.  I'm going to be putting up a very strongly-worded website up about 
this incident as soon as I get the chance.  All will be documented.

        As it is, I could understand if I lost my exhaust while I was on a 
farm road in NC.  I could see if the pipes were torn off in a snowstorm.  I 
might even be sympathetic to PennDOT if this happened going over a speed 
bump.  But in the middle of a business district?!?

        So, now I need a new exhaust system, probably from the downpipe back. 
 If I can get the city to pay for this, that'd be great, but if not I won't 
skimp.  Any suggestions on a system with sporting pretentions that will ride 
high enough for city driving?

        Sorry for rambling/venting.  It needed to be done, and my story will 
be told on the 'net...After I get some satisfaction for all those taxes I 
pay. 

Mike Lishego
1974 MGB (Exhausted)
1986 Plymouth Turismo Turbo (Afraid of the real world roads)

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