Raised Security Levels
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed"
to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet
again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have
not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The
last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert l! level from "Run" to "Hide." The only
two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and
"Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert
level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate
Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a
Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual,
and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling
out of Brussels.
Craig A. Goodman
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