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Camaro/Back East humor...

To: ba-autox@autox.team.net
Subject: Camaro/Back East humor...
From: Smokerbros@aol.com
Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2004 20:36:35 EST
Although this has little autocross content other than that he went out in the
snow with performance tires on, I thought you'd all enjoy it.  Especially
those of you who came from places where it snows...

Charlie
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Well......the beater wouldn't start yesterday so I reluctantly pressed the
95 'Maro (275/40/17's) into snow service to get me one mile to the grocery
store.  The Wash DC area was hit with 6 inches of snow the day before and it
was actually drizzeling even though the temp was only 26 degrees F. so you
can imagine how slippery things were.  Our side-road had been packed down
but NOT salted or sanded so it was pretty slick but all I needed to do was
get aboout 80 yards to the main street which showed a lot of black and I
would be homefree.   My driveway had some ice on it but I had no rocksalt or
sand to help it.

So I backed out of my downhill driveway (known heretofore as the "point of
no return" ;-) and got to the relatively level street.  I thought to myself
"nice and easy on that throttle big guy" and eased it into "D".  Well,
needless to say just the idle-torque spun my rear wheels and it was futile
right from the start.  So I gave up and tried to get out of the middle of
the street and back into my driveway.   For some reason (gearing maybe?),
reverse worked a little better so I got up some momentum and started backing
up into my driveway.  As soon as I hit the driveway I felt the rear end lose
ALL grip and just slide sideways right into my front yard like it was
nothing.  So now my black 'Maro is sitting sideways in my driveway half in
my front yard and it looks REALLY STUPID  ;-)  A couple of my SUV-pampered
neighbors drive by with smug looks on their faces.........

So I decide I HAVE to at least get the car back in the garage and safe from
ridicule so I break out the garden hose, hook it up to my laundry sink
faucet and start using hot water to melt the driveway ice.  It SLOWLY
desolves the ice and I start backing my car up a few feet at a time before I
would have to get back out and hit the spot just ahead of the rear wheels to
regain some traction.  Of course, in a little while, my water heater is
weakening (I had showered earlier) and the water is getting colder and
colder so all of a sudden while I am spraying the hose I see the 'Maro start
to SLOWLY slide back down the driveway IN PARK for God's sake!!!  I got
behind it and could stop the sliding with just a TOUCH of my pinky it was so
balanced on the edge of adhesion.  If I had wanted to, I could have probably
spun the whole car on its axis like a pinwheel!!

Well, to make a long story only sorta long, I eventually got the car back
into the garage where I proceeded to put the stock wheels and tires
(Goodyear RSA's from 1995 model year about half worn) on the rear, deflate
them to about 18 pounds, load up the trunk with pieces of flagstone and OFF
I GO with zero problems!!  So in conclusion, those Kumho Ecsta MX's SUCK in
the snow even when compared to 9 year old Goodyear RSA's and BF Goodrich
Comp TA's.  Of course, I'm sure most of you already knew this, but I thought
you would get a kick out of my travails anyway........

;-)

JC






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