Chicken Poop 2

[MrZAG57@aol.com]

There Ainbt No Chickens in There
Part 2
-By Rod Aydee

I tripped on myself as we hauled outta the truck. Hey! I never claimed to be 
graceful, but what I stumbled on was my jaw as a stared at what I thought was 
the most beautiful flower garden I had ever seen. As you remember, Gasser 
Bill Evans and I were on a mission. He had a bLegitimateb lead on a Walton 
1500RS that had led us to this farm yard. Now the farm itself looked like one 
of another 100 farms in up state New York. Prim two story white clapboard 
sided house with a big front porch that when originally framed didnbt 
have the offset camber that it now had. There were several large red out 
buildings on the other side of the drive and what appeared to be either a 
milking parlor or an oversized chicken house. It was hard to tell from where 
I stood but I knew my eyes were gonna spend more time looking in that 
direction than at the garden. Now Gasser doesnbt particularly care for 
gardens, so he just shrugged when I said how beautiful I thought it was. He w
as already making a Bee line for the stoop of the porch when I turned toward 
him.

His boots clumped across the porch floor and as he raised his fist to knock 
on the screen door, a small elderly lady caught him off guard from around the 
corner of the porch. b Hello, may I help you. Are you having trouble with 
your truck?b Here we go again, I thought. You see the condition of Gasserbs 
truck always made those we came calling on take immediate pity on us. I swear 
itbs the greatest disguise anyone could have come up with to get stuff for 
free.

b Ahh...Well Mam...Ahh... My name is Bill Evans ..and..ah.. that there is Rod 
Aydee. We heard tell that you might have an old car you was lookinb to get 
rid of...well...that maybe youbd sell if...ah...b his voice trailed off. Now 
normally Gasser is quite the negotiator and I had never seen him so unsure of 
himself. I began to realize that he was afraid of her. Well not HER exactly, 
I mean I think he was afraid that the Walton 1500RS was within sniffinb 
distance, that she wouldnbt let us even look at it, and that if she did it 
would be either all trashed out and rotted away or the price would be so 
formidable it couldnbt be bought AND He Wanted That Car BAD !!!

b Well son, let me tell you how it is. My son got that car right before he 
went to Ve-et Namm. He was gonna drive it when he got home. Well..... he 
didnbt come home. There was a boy who showed up here about 5 years ago who 
had known Billy in the Army and Billy had told him about it. He said hebd 
like to buy it. He spent two days with a couple of local boys trying to get 
it going but they couldnbt. Honestly Ibm glad they didnbt.b Her voice 
trailed off and she had started a slight wobble as she talked.

b Gee, Mam, letbs get you a seatb said Gasser and he took her arm and walked 
her to the big front porch swing. bHere... thisbll be better, sit right here 
Mam...Uh... Mam by what name should we call you?b Gasser said with a pleading 
look in his eye and a big friendly smile.

b Well my married name was Whitley, so you can call me Mrs. Whitley if you 
would like. Most around here call me by Josephine or Josey.b

bIs that what you would like Mam, us to call you,.... Josey?b I asked. 
Seemed as at this point I hadnbt been fully introduced and I took the 
opportunity to. I stuck my hand out gently and said b You can call me Rod, 
Mam.b 

bSounds like this fella wasnbt much of friend at allb I continued.

bI didnbt like him much. He said he was bBig Friendsb with Billy. I donbt 
think so. Billy was a real quiet type and this boy was a wild one, not the 
kind Billy ever tookup with. His eyes and the way he acted was as if he was 
afraid of getting caught. It was like he was always lookinb over his 
shoulder. Well when he left I felt a lot better. Every time a strange car 
comes up the drive Ibm afraid itbs him come back again.b a shudder went 
through her shoulders.

Well at this point the small talk went on for a little time. Gasser told how 
his folk had always called him Billy. Yes, he went South East too. No, he had 
never heard of a Billy Whitley. But he had heard about an old car that might 
be for sale.

bWell, I hate to disappoint you Boys. I am afraid that old cars probably not 
much anyways, being in that old chicken coop all these years.b Mrs, Whitley 
said softly. I could see that she had kind of taken to Gasser and she was 
somewhat disappointed within herself. b Besides all the papers on that car 
are from over there. Billy never took the time to get it straightened out 
with state or nothinb before he left. Said hebd handle all that when he got 
back b her voice trailing off again.

bYou mean, Josey, that the title is still a foreign title?b asked Gasser. 
bLike from another state or another country?b

b I didnbt tell you how he got that car did I?b she spruced up at the 
question. I could tell that this was going to be a highlight for her.

I spurted out bGosh No Mam ! You didnbt... How did he get it?b

bWell now, let me tell you. I had a brother who when our parents came to this 
country, he was still in school and stayed in England. I had fallen in love 
with Mr. Whitley in our last year of college and we came to the states after 
we graduated. Mr. Whitley was an Agriculturalistb she said with pride. bWe 
lived with my parents who first owned this land. Mr. Whitley knew everything 
about raising crops, cattle, hogs, chickens, sheep, ....just everything about 
farming. We did fine and raised Billy here. He was our only ...... 
Unfortunately Mr. Whitley didnbt know a lot about making money. He left me 
comfortable, you know, but not like my brother who never married. When he 
passed away he left me money and Billy that old car. I think it was just 
sentimental, you know leaving Billy that car.b

I could see Gasser eyes getting real big ! He was trying to fight it off but 
my guess is he had already figured out who the brother was and was about to 
pee his pants! I coyly said b Well, Josey, would ya mind if we went out there 
and just kinda looked. We could tell ya whether or not itbs all rotted into 
the ground or not.b Gasser just turned and started down the steps.

Now I learned a secret right there that Gasser had never shared with me. He 
was stone cold afraid of chickens. I know that sounds silly, but it seems 
that as a kid he was messinb with some, tripped, and the olb rooster made 
time on his head and face with a set of spurs to make John Wayne jealous. 
Since that time Gasser's had nothinb to do with chickens. I also learned why 
he was so hot to have me along on the trip. I was the the point man for the 
job. It seems that up until recently there had been chickens in the coop.

b When we get out there, you go ahead and look it over.b he said with his 
voice a little creaky. He was as nervous as I have ever seen him. More 
nervous then that time at the Saddle Club when Big Rufus Green caught him 
makinb eyes at Rufusbs new girl.

b Oh sure, ... no problem.b I replied. I was now really excited because if 
it really was a GENUINE, CERTIFIED, Walton 1500RS, I would be the one to say 
I saw it FIRST....Forever ! Bragginb rights count in my circle of friends.

I almost ran but thought that would be just a little to obvious and besides 
we still didnbt know if we could ....., well that hadnbt been settled yet 
either. I mean was this a partnership? Was I just along for the ride? I know 
I promised Twyla I wasnbt gonna spend no money, but a GENUINE Walton 1500RS? 
I quickly realized none of that mattered if it was a rusting old hunk of 
junk, or had been totally trashed. 

If you have been around old barns and such you know doors donbt work unless 
seriously leaned on. The door to this giant coop was no different. It may 
have been years since any chicken had inhabited the place but chicken stink 
donbt settle completely out of nothinb. So as I pried the door open, and 
slid past the hinge, my nose filled with the remnants of chickens and more. 
My heart was pounding a little as I slowly peered around, my eyes adjusting 
to the light slithering through the cracks in the old wooden side boards. I 
could see that the coop was separated into what looked like 4 pieces with the 
closest piece being closed in on 2 sides with the metal tin used on barn 
roofs. There was a shallow loft that ran above the closed in piece and 
continued across the adjacent one. This formed kinda a roof over both inside 
the old building.

My eyes could see better now and I could make out what could only be the out 
line of some old tires on wire rims stacked across the opening to this first 
part. Damn, I shouldba brought some kinda light with me.

bHey what ya see in there??b Gasser called from outside. b Is it in there?b

bIbm not sure, give me a minute.b I called back to him. I stumbled past the 
opening, found a fender and carefully made my way along the car. There was 
enough light coming through cracks that I could see that bYep, it was here 
all right and it was Damn near perfectb. I pushed on the side boards in a 
couple of places looking for a weak spot where I might punch through and get 
some light on the subject. Finally a piece halve splintered and fell away.

bOh, WOW, shebs beautiful....b I whispered across my lips. Quickly, I 
stepped back past the car and made my way to the door. I shoved on it this 
time and Gasser grabbed a hold from the out side and we threw it open..

bWell, I can tell you one thingb, I YELLED. b THERE AINbT NO CHICKENS IN 
THERE !!!! BUT, there is a genuine Walton 1500RS in near perfect condition 
!!!b I slapped Gasser on the chest as I said it.

b Oh My....b he cooed. b Whatbr we gonna do?b From this point forward we 
tried to look at this as a business transaction. So, Ibm not gonna tell ya 
what we paid if anything for the car. 

I will tell you that Gasser still thinks that chickens are gonna get him 
someday. Partly I guess because as we were movinb the car out of the stall, 
Gasser stepped on a catbs tail. The cat let out a god awful wail, Gasser 
jumped back and sat down in old chicken poop, and I still laugh about it 
today.

b Yea, there ainbt no chickens in there Gasser, but you sure did find the 
chicken crap....Ha Ha Ha.... Oh Boy, what a deal. No chickens, 
but.......Gasser you sure hate chickens donbt you??.......b