[Spridgets] No SOS - The trip from Hell instead NLBC

Ron Soave soavero at yahoo.com
Sat Nov 24 22:49:19 MST 2007

Back from the trip from hell from upstate NY to see
the whole family. Had a wonderful trip out, with the
family and Simba the Wonderdog in tow. We rented a van
from Avis, nice new Chevy thing, DVD player etc., and
it left Avis with 7 miles on it. Everyone always asks
"why rent a car? Why not drive your own?"...well...

The trip is exactly 800 miles each way, 798 if I hit
all the apexes and drive the line. Trip out was
perfect. perhaps the best Thanksgiving ever, seeing
several generations of Soaves enjoying themselves to
no end, and engorging on somemo. After dinner, we
settle back and watch Billy Zoom  of the best cooking
this side of Piedmonte or Palerand X in 2004's "Live
in Los Angeles" DVD, much like the original pilgrims
did. Great stuff. Niece LOVES the Soul Kitchen cover,
I may have to ask a a favor,...anyway...

After bliss there is the ride home today. A couple of
hours into it, we hit Chataugua Lake and Institution,
where Pheadrus came and went in Pirsig's "Zen and the
Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", I think. Beautiful
place to lose your mind. 

It is at that precise point that Simba forces Lynette
from her seat and puts his head on my arm. Awwww,
cute. But his head is shaking at like 7 Hz, somethings
up. He starts panting like crazy,  with drool. Brad
Fornal is nowhwere to be seen, so I'm thinking the dog
is ill. He sort of clenches up and !!!!BABOOOMM!!!!!
absolutely carpet bombs the car with diarrhea. 5
minutes after we'd stopped to walk him and seen bodily
discharges that should have kept him cool for hours.
In the middle of now where. In 6 inches of snow. On
carpets. In seats. In cup holders. In half drunk
coffee. On virgin carpets. You name it. Still 600
miles from home. I sacrificed some old tee shirts to
the cause and we limped to a rest stop a mile up the
road. While I'm scrubbing, Simba SPRINTED to the
flowers there and turns them into slightly more
organic stench. On it goes. No more shitting in the
car because, as we all know, BARFING is way more fun.
After NY, Simba barfs in PA, OH, IN and, for good
measure, in front of the White Sox stadium downtown
Chicago. All IN the van for good measure. So, being
Italian and guilt ridden, I'm detatiling a f'ing
minivan tomorrow. 

I missed SOS for new reasons after this one,

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