[Spridgets] OK, since we are all getting testy here... when insults had class

[Larry Daniels]

Woe is me...






"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston
Churchill





"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow





"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)






"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx





"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it." - - Mark Twain





"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde





"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...

followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will
attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill





"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --
Stephen Bishop






"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright







"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --
Irvin S. Cobb





"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." --
Samuel Johnson





"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating





"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr





"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" --
Mark Twain






"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West






"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar
Wilde






Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party, "Winston, if
you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"



Churchill replied, "Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it!"