[Mgs] Zen Sarcasm

Rick Lindsay rolindsay at yahoo.com
Mon Jan 7 06:19:35 MST 2008


23.  When one person believes in spirits and talks to
them its called insanity.  When many people do the
same, its called religion.

--- Glen <glenel at videotron.ca> wrote:

> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
> walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
> beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 
> 
> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
> broken fan belt and leaky tire. 
> 
> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
> going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the
> time to do it. 
> 
> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
> you can't be promoted. 
> 
> 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like
> everyone else. 
> 
> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> 
> 
> 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
> missing a couple of car payments. 
> 
> 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
> mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize
> them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 
> 
> 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
> for you. 
> 
> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
> Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and
> drink beer all day. 
> 
> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
> person again, it was probably worth it. 
> 
> 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to
> remember anything. 
> 
> 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the
> windshield. 
> 
> 14 Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
> 
> 
> 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
> it in half and put it back in your pocket. 
> 
> 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 
> 
> 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light
> side and a dark side, and it holds the universe
> together. 
> 
> 18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
> Neither one works. 
> 
> 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much
> when your lips are moving. 
> 
> 20 Experience is something you don't get until just
> after you need it. 
> 
> 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 
> 
> 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
> pill and a laxative on the same night. 


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