[Healeys] Fw: Fw: The amazing Frank Feldman. Friday Funny

[David Z]

        A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He
gets
        into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like
        Frank."

        Passenger: 'Who?'

        Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the
        time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like
        that to Frank Feldman every singl e time.'

        Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

        Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won
        the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an
        opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have
heard
        him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

        Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.'

        Cabbie: 'There's more.. He had a memory like a computer. He r
emembered
        everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, whic h foods to order
and
        which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I
        change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he
        could do everything right'

        Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

        Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
        traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But
        Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a
woman
        and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was
        in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly
        polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one
        could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

        Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

        Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his
        f*%$&ng widow.'