[Healeys] FW: BUD THE COWBOY, a friday funny

[Alan Seigrist]

FYI - one clarification on this Good Friday Joke - the MS-SQL
connected ODBC Excel spreadsheet may exist in theory, but will crash
99% of the time if attempted and more than likely destroy your
database in the process, just for the heck of it.

Microsoft....

Don't ask how I know.



On 3/22/08, insptwo at msn.com <insptwo at msn.com> wrote:
> A  cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
> in
> California when suddenly a brand-new BMW  advanced out of a dust cloud
> towards
> him.The driver, a young man in a  Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan
> sunglasses
> and YSL tie, leans out the window  and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
> exactly
> how many cows and calves you have in  your herd, Will you give me a
> calf?"Bud
> looks at the man, obviously a  yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing
> herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why  not?"The yuppie parks his car, whips
> out
> his Dell notebook computer,  connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone,
> and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite
> to
> get an exact fix on his location  which he then feeds to another NASA
> satellite that scans the area in an  ultra-high-resolution photo.The young
> man
> then opens th e digital photo  in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
> processing facility in Hamburg ,  Germany ..Within seconds, he receives an
> email on his Palm Pilot that  the image has been processed and the data
> stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
> spreadsheet with email on his  Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives
> a
> response.Finally, he  prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
> hi-tech,
> miniaturized HP  LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
> "You have exactly  1,586 cows and calves.""That's right. Well, I guess you
> can
> take one of  my calves," says Bud.He watches the young man select one of the
> animals  and looks on in amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk
> of his  car.Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
> what  your business is, will you give me back my calf?"The young man thinks
> about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?""You're a  Congressman
> for the U.S. Government", says Bud."Wow! That's correct, "  says the yuppie,
> "but how did you guess that?""No guessing required."  answered the cowboy.
> "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want  to get paid for
> an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried  to show me
> how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a damn thing about
> cows...this is a herd of sheep.. . "Now give me back my damn dog!!"
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-- 
Alan

'52 A90
'53 BN1
'64 BJ8