[Healeys] Late Friday Funny: You know you're a redneck - new edition

Warthodson at aol.com Warthodson at aol.com
Sat Mar 1 06:58:56 MST 2008


____________________________________
 From: mdb713 at everestkc.net
To: mdb713 at everestkc.net
Sent: 2/29/2008  10:20:07 A.M. Central Standard Time
Subj: Fw: You know you're a  redneck - new edition




 
 
     


Yes,  the new one is out! Brand new edition of... 'You know you're a redneck  
when......"  

1. You take your dog  for a walk and you both use the same tree.  


2.  You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter  


3.  Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.  


4.  You burn your yard rather than mow it 


5.  You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench  .  


6.  The Salvation Army declines your furniture 


7.  You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want  
it. 


8.  You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.  


9.  You come back from the dump with more than you took.  


10.  You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.  


11.  Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.  


12.  Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas  list. 


13.  You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 


14.  You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting  dog.  


15.  You go to the stock car races and don't need a  program. 


16.  You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.  


17.  You have a rag for a gas cap. 


18.  Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.  


19.  You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean ?  


20.  You can spit without opening your mouth. 


21.  You consider your license platepersonalized because your father  made 
it. 


22.  Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.  


23.  You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on  
the side. 


24.  The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart  


25.  Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.  


26.  You've used your ironing board as a buffet  table.  


27.  A tornado hits your  neighborhood and does $100,000  worth of 
improvements. 


28.  You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.  


29.  You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury  duty.  


30.  You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.  













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