[Healeys] Fwd: AARP Forum (not cleared by Snoops)

[David Schweninger]

Begin forwarded message:

>
>>
>> AARP Forum
>> Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum
>>
>>
>> Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who  
>> are interested in them?
>> A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.
>>
>> Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
>> A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the  
>> basement.  When you are done you will have a place to live.
>>
>> Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible.   
>> Is that true?  Where can it be found?
>> A: Yes.  Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to  
>> Egypt .'
>>
>> Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
>> A: Tell him you're pregnant.
>>
>> Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
>> A: Take off your glasses.
>>
>> Q: Seriously!  What can I do for these crow's feet and all those  
>> wrinkles on my face?
>> A: Go braless.  It will usually pull them out.
>>
>> Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
>> A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
>>
>> Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term  
>> memory storage?
>> A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
>>
>> Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
>> A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
>>
>> Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
>> A: On their foreheads.
>>
>> Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they  
>> enter antique stores?
>> A: 'Gosh, I remember these.'