[Healeys] The Friday Funny: HERE'S ONE FOR ALL YOU WALMART SHOPPERS

[Rich C]

The Friday Funny:






One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

 "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
 "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

 It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . .. A lot cheaper than a doctor."

 So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

 He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

 Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

 "You have tennis elbow... Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

 That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began
wondering if the computer could be fooled.

 He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

 Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

 The computer prints the following:

 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

 Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

Humour is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles


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