[Healeys] friday funnies TRUE: INSTRUCTIONS FOUND ON LABELS

insptwo at msn.com insptwo at msn.com
Fri Jul 20 15:53:39 MDT 2007


> >In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
> >stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
>
>-On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
>( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>- On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase
>necessary.     Details inside.     (the shoplifter special)?
>
>-On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
>(and that would be how???....)
>
>-On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>-On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
>down."     (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
>(...and you thought????...)
>
>-On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
>(but wouldn't this ! save me more time)?
>
>-On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
>machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce
>the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
>5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>-On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>(and...I'm taking this because???....)
>
>-On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
>(as opposed to...what)?
>
>-On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>-On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
>(talk about a news flash)
>
>-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
>nuts."     (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>-On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
>you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this
>one.)
>
>-On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
>genitals."       (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


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