[Healeys] Friday Funny - Only in America

Tracy Drummond bighealey at charter.net
Thu Dec 20 08:13:10 MST 2007

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of   the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order  double  cheeseburgers, large fries,
and  a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to  the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars  worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process
so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille


Why the sun lightens our hair,  but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two  mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for  lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when    they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe,why do they call the airport the terminal?

More information about the Healeys mailing list