[Roadsters] Lucas theory of wiring

[Tim]

an oldie but goodie....I think this just went around a couple months ago most
recently.
--

---- Jim Gammon <gtpjimgammon at yahoo.com> wrote:

=============
Oldie but goodie


ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS

This was sent to me
by member Erney Alewine who shares this information with the
ELECTRIC TRAIN
community in the hopes that will clarify a few misunderstood
electrical
theories:


Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is
the transmission
of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral
manifestation known as
b
smokeb
.  Smoke is  the thing that makes
electrical circuits work. We know this
to be true because every time one lets
the smoke out of an electrical circuit,
it stops working.  This can be
verified repeatedly through empirical testing.


For example, if one places
a copper bar across the terminals of a battery,
prodigious quantities of
smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to
function. In addition,
if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical
component such as a Lucas
voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the
component no longer
functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!


The function of the
wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to
another. When the
wiring springs a leak and lets all the  smoke out of the
system, nothing
works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British
motorcycles for some time
largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very
unsightly large wires.


It has been reported that
Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to
electrical leakage
than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts
point out that
this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak.
British
engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk
brake
systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks
national defense secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical
systems
must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the
form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical
components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.


And
remember: b
A gentleman does not motor about after dark.b


Joseph Lucas
b
The Prince of Darknessb

1842-1903
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