From lorenzoscribe at hotmail.com Fri Dec 24 08:43:31 2010 From: lorenzoscribe at hotmail.com (Larry Steckel) Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2010 10:43:31 -0500 Subject: [Autox] FW: 12 Days of Cajun Chrismas In-Reply-To: References: Message-ID: You have waited all year. And now its time for The Twelve Days of Cajun Christmas. > > Ladies and Gentlemen, I found a hard copy of this hilarious takeoff in a > file folder I was ready to throw away. Let it be my present to all the > Team.Netters. > > 12 Days of Cajun Christmas > > > Day 1 :. Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de pear tree. I fix it > lasnight with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, > so I swap it for a Satsuma. > > Day 2 : Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I > got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouile an made some > gumbo out of dem. > > Day 3 : Dear Boudreaux, way doan you sent some crawfish? Im tired of > eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie > Trahan over at Gras Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog Phideaux. Marie > needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster. > > Day 4 : Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more friggin birds! Deez > four, what you call them calling birds were so noisy you could hear them > all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps an fed the > rest of dem to de gators. > > Day 5 : Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen somethin useful. I like dem golden > rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and go enuf money to > fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys a de RaisinCane > Lounge. Merci Beaucoup! > > Day 6 : Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey! Poor > egg suckin Phideaux is scared to death at dem six gaeases. He tried to eat > dems eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eatin > cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit erster dressing on Chrismas > Day. > > Day 7 : Dear Boudreaux, Im gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. > Thibeau, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is > stinkin up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue > him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck > hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow. > > Day 8 : Dear Boudreaux, poor ole Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his > mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and their cows. One of dem cows got > spooked by da alligators an almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem > siftless maids, me no. I tot dem to get to work guttin fish and sweeping > the shack but dey say it wasnt in dair contract. Dey probably think de too > good ta skin nutrias I caught las night. > > Day 9 : Dear Boudreaux, what you trying to do huh? Thibeau had to borrow > the Luther ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call Lords a- Leaping > across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with > crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, Well La Di Da! You get > Chickory coffee or nutin. Mon Dieu, Emile, what am I gonna feed all dese > bozos? Dey too snotty for fried nutria, an de cows done eat my turnip > greens. > > Day 10 : Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs of you mind! If de mailman > dont kill you, I will fo sure! Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies > from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey be ladies Dancin, but dey doan act like > ladies in front of dose Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got bit > by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed > toute le monde an had to get toilet paper. The Sears Catalog wasnt good > enuf for dose hoity toity Lords royal behin. > > Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, where yat? Cherrio and pip pip. Your 11 pipers > piping arrives today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off > de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya, finished da whiskey and > we having a fais-do-d0! Da new mailman he drink a bottle of Jack Daniel an > he having a good time yeah dancing with de floozies. Thibeau he jump off de > Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious, > ticking package in de mail, doan open it! > > Day 12 : Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love > anymore, no. After da faisdo-do, I spnet de night with Jacque, de head > piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemens club on de bayou. The > floozies, pardon me, Ladies dancing can make $20.00 for a table dance, an de > Lords can be waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids doan have no > more cows ta milk, I trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, > an run my sriping business. We will probably gross a million clams nex year. > > > > > > _________________________________________________________________ > > /// unsubscribe/change address requests to majordomo at autox.team.net or try > /// http://www.team.net/cgi-bin/majorcool > /// http://www.team.net/mailman/listinfo > /// Partial archives at http://www.team.net/cgi-bin/wilma/autox > /// Send list postings to autox at autox.team.net