vintage-race
[Top] [All Lists]

Race Prep; Humor

To: vintage-race@autox.team.net
Subject: Race Prep; Humor
From: "Lance Kennelty" <LMK2@oss.cis.pitt.edu>
Date: Thu, 1 Jun 1995 10:55:18 EST5EDT
A co-worker sent me this one.....   Maybe Roger shouldn't have 
worried about valve-offset and just bought a JATO unit........


-Lance


>THE DARWIN AWARD
>
>Darwin Award nominee: You all know about the Darwin Awards--it's an 
>annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest 
>service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupind way. 
>Last year's winner was the fellow (note: others also have killed 
>themselves this way, right Jake?) who was killed by a Coke machine, which 
>toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda (i.e.: 
>pop) out of it.
>       The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal 
>embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road, at the apex of a 
>curve. The wreckage resembled the sight of an airplane crash, but it was 
>a car. The type of the car was unidentifiable at the scene.
>       The boys at the lab finally figured out what it was, and what had 
>happened. It seems that a guy had somehow got hold of a JATO unit, (Jet 
>Assisted Take Off, actually a solid-fuel rocket). JATO units are used to 
>give heavy military transport planes an extra push for taking off from 
>short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert, and 
>found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to 
>his car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired of the JATO!!!
>       Best they could determine, he was doing somewhere between 250-300 
>mph (350-420 km/h) when he came to that curve... (NOTE: Solid-fuel 
>rockets don't have an "off" switch; once started, they burn at full 
>thrust until all the fuel is gone.)


PS Don't try this at home....  or with your MG-TC or SPRIDGET!!!


Lance M. Kennelty
Systems Analyst
Office Systems Services
Computing and Information Services
University of Pittsburgh
419F Bellfield Hall
Pittsburgh PA 15261

EMAIL:  LMK2+@PITT.EDU
PHONE:  (412) 624-2977

"Nothing funny about this."

<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>
  • Race Prep; Humor, Lance Kennelty <=