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RE: HUMOR: MORE ACTUAL LABELS- no LBC content

To: Triumphs Mail List <triumphs@autox.team.net>
Subject: RE: HUMOR: MORE ACTUAL LABELS- no LBC content
From: "Padgett, John (Wes) W." <wpadgett@utmb.edu>
Date: Thu, 12 Aug 1999 09:37:26 -0500
You have the US legal system to thank for this.  Remember the lady that sued
McDonalds for her coffee being hot when she spilled it on her lap?

Wes

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Lawrence Zink [mailto:zink@pdq.net]
> Sent: Thursday, August 12, 1999 12:17 AM
> To: Joe Curry; Brad Kahler; Triumphs Mail List
> Subject: Fw: HUMOR: MORE ACTUAL LABELS- no LBC content
> 
> 
> 
> I had to share this with all of you.
> Larry
> 
> Subject: HUMOR: MORE ACTUAL LABELS
> 
> 
> >
> > In case you needed further proof that the human race is 
> doomed through
> > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on 
> consumer goods.  I
> am
> > sure I have seen some of these but a few were new.....
> >
> > On Sears hairdryer:  "Do not use while sleeping."  (Gee, 
> that's the only
> > time I have to work on my hair.)
> >
> > On a bag of Fritos:  "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
> > Details  inside." (The shoplifter special.)
> >
> > On a bar of Dial soap:  "Directions: Use like regular 
> soap." (And that
> > would be how . . .?)
> >
> > On some Swanson frozen dinners:  "Serving suggestion: 
> Defrost."  (But
> > it's "just" a suggestion.)
> >
> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):  
> "Do not turn
> > upside down." (Too late, asshole!)
> >
> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product will be hot 
> after heating."
> > (As night follows the day .  . )
> >
> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:  "Do not iron clothes on 
> body."  (But
> > wouldn't this save more time?)
> >
> > On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car or operate
> > machinery after taking this medication."  (We could do a 
> lot to reduce
> > the rate of construction accidents if we could just get 
> those 5-year-olds
> > with head-colds off those forklifts.)
> >
> > On Nytol Sleep Aid:  "Warning: May cause drowsiness."  (One can only
> > hope.)
> >
> > On most brands of Christmas lights:  "For indoor or outdoor 
> use only."
> > (As opposed to what?)
> >
> > On a Japanese food processor:  "Not to be used for the 
> other use."  (I
> > gotta admit, I'm curious.)
> >
> > On Sainsbury's peanuts:  "Warning: contains nuts."  
> (Really?  No shit?)
> >
> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:  "Instructions: 
> Open packet, eat
> > nuts."  (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
> >
> > On a child's superman costume:  "Wearing of this garment 
> does not enable
> > you to fly."   (I don't blame the company.  I blame parents 
> for this one.)
> >
> > On a Swedish chainsaw:  "Do not attempt to stop chain with 
> your hands or
> > genitals."   (How???!!!!......Why????!!!!!  Did someone
> > actually...well...you
> > know....uh???)
> >
> >
> 
> 

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