Perhaps you've been taken. I hear Lucas' latest product is a pacemaker. If
you hold it near your chest does your heart beat faster? Hmmmmmm.
Jim Altman jaltman@altlaw.com Illigitimi non Carborundum
http://www.altlaw.com/metro/jaltman.html 69-TR6#CC28754L W4UCK
-----Original Message-----
From: owner-triumphs@autox.team.net
[mailto:owner-triumphs@autox.team.net]On Behalf Of jonmac
Sent: Sunday, August 02, 1998 7:07 PM
To: List, Tiumphs
Subject: My new mobile phone
I have succumbed to 21st century technology - and a few days ago invested
in a mobile phone. It's very smart and hooks neatly to my trousers -
without pulling them down as I walk. That's very good news!
It's got all sorts of functions, one of which enables me to ring people I
know - and even more that I don't. I can send faxes and written messages
too. Isn't technology amazing?
I've been given a carry case with a mains charger, an in-car charger
and another neat little device consisting of a box with a small handle,
which if I turn it fast, provides charging facilities if I should find
myself somewhere where 12 volt or 240 volt electricity isn't available -
but they all seem to get rather hot and make nasty smells.
It's got all sorts of ringing tones and I've spent the weekend choosing my
preferred 'ring' from over 500 different tones, ranging from Alpine
Cowbells through Tropical birdsong to that of a flatulent ox. What's more,
there's a very useful looking credit card thingy inside which doesn't have
my name or bank details written on it and I tried that in the cashpoint on
my way home. Strangely, I couldn't get any money out of the machine when I
put in my PIN number. To my surprise, on the cashpoint screen, I saw the
words "You've been had, mate!" and this was rather a shock.
Oddly, the telephone doesn't seem to work all that well - even when I stand
right underneath my nearest transmitter, so I removed the battery to see if
something wasn't properly connected. I have to say the whole assembly was
rather hot to the touch and emitted a strange burning smell. The battery
doesn't have any identity in terms of the manufacturer but for the fact
that the name Joseph is written on it.
Further investigation with a magnifying glass reveals the phone itself is
made by a company called Lucas. I've never heard of Lucas before and I
wondered if anyone out there might be able to let me know how I can
communicate with the world? Please don't ring me at the moment - though I'm
happy to give you my number for future reference - it's:
04919182736456479300321583882410639521005543392 - Z. Oddly, this figure
seems to correspond with the number of pounds it cost me to buy. The
instructions also tell me that when I switch the phone on and its setting
itself up, I ought to shout "JOE - YOU IN THERE?"" into the mouthpiece. I
don't know who he is and as we've never been introduced, I think its a bit
rude to call a complete stranger by his christian name.
Any constructive advice to resolve the dilemma presently facing me will
have the charm of novelty. I do hope some nice, friendly person out there
will find a way to help me.
John Macartney
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