This past sunday I took the family to the Jaguar Association of New
England's slalom event in North Grafton Massachusetts. I've never
been to any kind of competitive LBC event so I wasn't sure what to
expect. The idea of watching "big cats" trying to pussyfoot around
those tight turns was irresistible though...I *had* to go see this.
The weather was clear but cold...maybe 40 degrees or so. Daughter #1
agreed we should try the top down thingy for the trip out but
afterwards she needed to warm up in Mom's Camry to take the chill off.
Macho type that I am, I was unaffected. <damn!...I still haven't
warmed up!>
We arrived at the Wyman-Gordon's parking lot shortly after 9:30 and
several cars were already there. I parked the Spit way down the end
and immediately met up with Adam Owens who had been gracious enough to
invite us to this feline fracas. Adam had his "super clean" '85
Series III XJ6 with him...I *want* this car! :-)
Looking over the field, there were three groups of Jags...E-types, XJs
and S's...maybe 12 in all. There was a red Series II XJ coupe that
looked real hungary...musta' been those o-ring tires and blacked-out
grill. A series I <I think> dark blue E-type coupe was trailered in.
Not to be confused with a "trailer queen" however, this man came to
RACE!
Adam and I where chatting when he noticed not one, but TWO Aston
Martin DB4s pull in...and a late model Corvette. "Interesting" I
thought. BTW...the Astons could also have been show winners, but it
turns out they came to play too!
What happened next remains a bit of a blur in my memory. My two
daughters <ages 5 and 10> were walking about and checking out all the
cars when the little one came running up to me and said: " Daddy, are
YOU gonna race YOUR car too? " Adam the helpfull chimed in: " Yes
Tom, you really should give it a try...it's fun! "
So I stood there...frozen for a second. I looked over at the
beautifull Jags again...some fitted with dunlop racing tires and other
neat racing stuff. I looked at the Astons with their brawny profiles
and voracious grills. Then I gazed at my clapped-out Spit parked way
down the other end...looking like a matchbox(tm) car by comparison. I
considered that I was now 43 years old and that my opportunities for
doing something *really stupid* were becoming less numerous. I said
"SURE!" :-)
I was trying to remember my car's condition. Like many Spit owners I
suspect, I haven't exactly been pouring wads of cash into my car.
Purchased three years ago as a $400 non-runner, my car is on a tightly
controlled austerity budget. It gets ONE major item repaired or
upgraded each year with enough money left over <hopefully> to take
care of any routine maintenance. I've tried to prioritize on "That
which shall deter top down cruising " So far this has worked out OK.
But now I needed to think a little bit...hmmm. Okay...u-joints are
fairly new, tranny and clutch recently done, new brake linings all
around...engine bearings and thrustwashers were changed out 5000 miles
ago. New front and rear springs... It should hold together...I
think.
The other cars were going through their "pre-race" checks. This
non-rigorous procedure involved things like making sure the battery
was well secured, removing loose stuff from the trunk, etc...and a
braking test where these snarling beasts accelerate and then stomp on
the stop pedal, often locking the wheels.
My pre-race check was even more casual...collect empty coffee
containers and potato chip bags from behind seats...remove cassette
from tapeplayer as this could become a dangerous projectile at high
velocity...turn heater fan to "off" position to minimize power losses
through the electrics. I haven't been reading all those Dan Master's
posts for nothing, you know.
The "officials" came over and popped the bonnet for a look see.
I hate opening the bonnet. All my bodges live under there.
Comments like "Where's the engine?" were neither needed nor
wanted. :-)
Despite a yawn inspiring acceleration and brake test the Spit was
deemed road worthy. Next up on the list was " walking the course".
The "course", to my eyes, was a group randomly scattered orange
cones. If there was a pattern there I failed to recognise it.
Someone handed me a printed sheet that looked like something from
"connect the dots". I was even more confused. As we strolled along
the cones I started to get the idea. Each run was to include three
*different* patterns in proper sequence. This was to be my undoing.
:-)
My class assignment was "other". "Other" is the catchall class that
included the 'Vette and the Astons. It would also have included
Trabants and Mayflowers but such luck was not to be mine. In fact, my
car was numbered 13. :-)
It was time for the practice run. Watching the other cars run the
course got me excited...*very* excited. Way, WAY too excited.
The flagman handed me a helmet and I waited for the E-type in front of
me to finish. Nosing up to the line I made a decision not to try
anything foolish like dropping the clutch and hearing it explode in
the starting box. Far better, I thought, to get out of the box
successfully and make a fool of myself out on the course where
everyone and their grandkids can see me. This is worked out
splendidly! :-)
The car lurched forward and I headed towards the first turn with my
foot to the floor. Some impressively spastic yanks on the wheel got
me 'round the first cones but that was about it. Trying to negotiate
the next turn found me lost in a sea of orange markers. Those little
buggers all look the same! :-) I pulled off the course quickly to
let the next driver take his turn...I needed to look at that dang map
again.
Adam came to my rescue and offered to ride the course with me for
another practice run. Can't believe he actually got in the car with
me after seeing the way I drive, but he did. :-) We went *slowly*
this time and I made each turn on his cue. I felt better.
Now it was time for the first of the three *real* runs. I lined up
behind the other cars and waited my turn. I took off a bit quicker
this time and actually made it about halfway through the figure eight
before dyslexia set in...oh well. The flagman was beginning to feel
sorry for me...he started giving me some pointers like "Slow down and
concentrate on completing the course!" Good advice. :-)
Next run I actually did it. It wasn't fast...it wasn't pretty. In
fact I believe my grandmother could have done a better job of it. But
somehow I kept the cones sorted and made it. Good deal.
By the last run I had finally calmed down a bit. The flagman is now
telling me I need to go *faster* in the straights...wow! Up until
this point I figured he had me pegged as being dangerous at any speed.
Doesn't he know I'm driving a Spitdiesel here?
He was right though...this last run was just a blast! The car was
fishtailing and skittering through the turns in the finest swing axel
fashion...the little engine is *screaming* bloody h*ll but it never
faltered. Great fun! Managed to take 5 seconds off the previous time
and I know it would run faster. Just need some more work on "the nut
behind the wheel".
So did I beat anybody? Nah! Well...I might have just eeked out one
of the Astons by a hair...but that's not the point. Practically, on a
small tight course like this I'd think the larger cars would be
working at a disadvantage. In fact I'm amazed at how well they did.
Adam drove his mostly stock XJ6 with a time several seconds under my
own. This car is neither small nor light....MUCH better pilot though.
:-)
The only down side of my participating in the slalom is that I kinda
missed seeing it. One part I remember though was Gary Hagopian's
modified E-type. He was holding nothing back and did a spectacular
donut on his second run. Eddie Messikian was also wound up. He was
driving his coupe so hard that he inadvertently hit the horn around
every turn. :-)
What really impressed me about this event though was how nice the
folks from Jaguar association were. They were exceedingly patient
with my novice attempts at disrupting their slalom. My wife commented
that she thought they really love cars.....*all* cars. :-)
Anyone who'd care to see some shots from this event can visit the JANE
website at:
http://users.aol.com/ajowens/jane.htm
My personal thanks to Adam Owens who runs this site, and who was nice
enough to e-mail some pictures I used to tease my co- workers.
Tom O'Malley
'74, '77 Spits
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