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Humor - Non LBC; Cultural Differences Explained

To: triumphs@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: Humor - Non LBC; Cultural Differences Explained
From: c394829@is6.mdc.com (Kurt Oblinger)
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 97 9:38:29 PST
Fellow Scions,

My wife plucked this from the Organic Gardening List, hope
it entertains a bit.

--------------------------------


>Cultural Differences Explained
>==============================
>
>Aussies:   Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
>Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when
>           abroad.
>Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
>Brits:     Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
>
>Aussies:   Believe you should look out for your mates.
>Brits:     Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
>           to your club.
>Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of
>           themselves.
>Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.
>
>Aussies:   Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
>Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to
>           the point of blindness.
>Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be
>           bothered to sing them.
>Brits:     Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
>           the anthem.
>
>Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
>Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
>Brits:     Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
>Aussies:   Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches,
>           to Britain, where everybody loves them.
>
>Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and
>           basketball.
>Brits:     Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
>Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey,
>           hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
>Aussies:   Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in
>           every sport they play them in.
>
>Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
>Brits:     Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".
>Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
>Aussies:   Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say
>           in an attempt to get laid.
>
>Brits:     Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
>           island.
>Aussies:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
>           island.
>Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor
>           in a backwards country.
>Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor
>           in a backwards country.
>
>Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
>Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
>Brits:     Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
>Aussies:   Drink anything with alcohol in it.
>
>Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
>Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
>Brits:     Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
>           are inherited things.
>Aussies:   Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
>
>

---------------------------
Cheers,

Kurt Oblinger
Redondo Beach, Ca.
c394829@is6.mdc.com


 


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