No, no, no, you are missing the point.
Faulkner is already famous for "stream of conciousness". Don't fight
your namesake's heritage. People already associate Faulkner with
literature. Use that to your advantage.
Just send an email like this:
"Gee, I have all the parts, now how is this horn going to get fixed?
Also, I have all this beer and pizza that needs to be consumed. What
am I to do?"
And then several people will show up at you door and your horn and
everything else will be repaired.
It's like an "LBC traveling circus", but the clowns aren't so creepy.
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