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Things a southerner will never say (NLBC)

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Things a southerner will never say (NLBC)
Date: Mon, 7 Apr 2003 17:35:19 -0400 (EDT)
heh heh,

The top things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say...ever....no matter how 
much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered...

 
>  40.  'Oh, I just couldn't.  Hell, she's only sixteen.'
>  39.  'I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex'
>  38.  Duct tape won't fix that.
>  37.  Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
>  36.  Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
>  35.  We don't keep firearms in this house.
>  34.  Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
>  33.  You can't feed that to the dog.
>  32.  I thought Graceland was tacky.
>  31.  No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>  30.  Wrasslin's fake.
>  29.  Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
>  28.  We're vegetarians.
>  27.  Do you think my gut is too big?
>  26.  I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>  25.  Honey, we don't need another dog.
>  24.  Who's Richard Petty?
>  23.  Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>  22.  Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>  21.  Spittin is such a nasty habit.
>  20.  I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>  19.  Trim the fat off that steak.
>  18.  Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>  17.  The tires on that truck are too big.
>  16.  I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
>  15.  I've got it all on the C drive.
>  14.  Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>  13.  Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
>  12.  My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>  11.  I've got two cases of Zima for the SuperBowl.
>  10.  Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
>   9.  Checkmate.
>   8.  She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>   7.  Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
>   6.  Hey, here's an episode of 'Hee Haw' that we haven't seen.
>   5.  I don't have a favorite college team.
>   4.  Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
>   3.  I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
>   2.  Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>   1.  'Nope, no more for me.  I'm drivin tonight.

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