A morning laugh with your coffee.....
> > Subject: Fw: Doctor Stories
> >
> > A man comes into the ER and yells, My wife's going to have her baby in
> the
> > cab! I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress,
> and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were
> several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
> > Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
> >
> > At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
> slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big breaths, I
> instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient. Dr. Richard
> Byrnes,Seattle, WA
> >
> > One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
> husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes
> later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had
> > died of a massive internal fart.
> > Dr. Susan Steinberg,Manitoba, Canada
> >
> > While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, How long
> have you been bedridden? After a look of complete confusion she
> answered..... Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive.
Dr.
> Steven Swanson,Corvallis, OR
> >
> > I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked her, "So how's your
> breakfast this morning? It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I
> can't seem to get used to the taste, the patient replied. I then Asked to
> > see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY jelly. Dr.
> Leonard Kransdorf,Detroit, MI
> >
> > A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
purple
> > hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,
and
> > wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the
> patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate
surgery.
> > When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
noticed
> that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a
> > tattoo that read, Keep off the grass. Once the surgery was completed,
the
> > surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said "Sorry,
> had to mow the lawn......
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