And we thought Allen had too much time!!! :)
Robert D.
-----Original Message-----
From Philip S Jones <pkj at eskimo.com>
To: Spridgets <Spridgets@autox.team.net>
Date: August 19, 2000 5:12 PM
Subject: No LBC - beware synthetic oil
>My brother sent this to me from the (Kawasaki) Concours Owners Group. No
>LBC, but I think we can still appreciate it.
>
>>
>> >From the R1 list, where a debate has been raging about oil types...
>>
>>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 14:52:05 -0600
>>From: "Michael J
>>Subject: Beware synthetic oil
>>
>>Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your beloved
>>motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can
>put
>>it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping
>>debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every
part
>>of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain
>>dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to
>>retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not
>>all...
>>
>>Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will
>also
>>splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of
>a
>>turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight
>>window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive
>>that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will
>>completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and
>>die.
>>
>>Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will
>>give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on
>>and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing
>>your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near
>>police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will
>>lubricate four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your
>valves
>>to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes
the
>>clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of
your
>>riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
>>
>>While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
>>handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen
>>with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your
>>studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty
by
>>changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch
>>and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in
>>the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry
>>wasp in your helmet for good measure.
>>
>>Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs.
>>Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two
>>sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold it
>to
>>the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail. Synthetic
>>oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign
>>your name at the bottom!
>>
>>Mike
>>
>
>
>
|