At least 5 belly laughs worth.
Many thanks after a particularly hard week.
Bill
At 03:09 PM 9/19/2003 +0100, Telewest \(PH\) wrote:
>> > >After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet,
>> > >which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft
>> > >during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read
>and
>> > >correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of
>the
>> > >form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe
>> > >sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews
>and
>> > >engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged
>maintenance
>> > >complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution
>> > >recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major
>> > >airline that has never had an accident.
>> > >
>> > > (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
>> > > (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
>> > > P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
>> > > S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
>> > > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>> > > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>> > > P: Something loose in cockpit.
>> > > S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>> > > P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>> > > S: Live bugs on back-order.
>> > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
>> > > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>> > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>> > > S: Evidence removed.
>> > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>> > > S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>> > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>> > > S: That's what they're there for.
>> > > P: IFF inoperative.
>> > > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>> > > P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>> > > S: Suspect you're right.
>> > > P: Number 3 engine missing.
>> > > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>> > > P: Aircraft handles funny.
>> > > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>> > > P: Target radar hums.
>> > > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>> > > P: Mouse in cockpit.
>> > > S: Cat installed.
>> > > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
>> > >pounding on something with a hammer.
>> > > S: Took hammer away from midget.
|